I'm fed up of life, I want to die!

I dont know where you are but if you are in the UK go speak to your doctor and he can also give you access to foodbanks which are for people who cannot afford to feed themself or on benefits

You dont say if your on medication but discuss with your doctor and consider some counselling.

In the UK there is also what is called the reablement team which is run by the local council and with a referral they will help you with social stuff.

It gets you into things you like doing then you make friends

Lil

The first thing I'd say to you is DON'T. You're clearly feeling totally negative right now and you've got some rotten stuff going on but it absolutely doesn't have to be like that. I know other people who live most if not all of their social life on social media and it's not good. We all need to have real people - preferably real friends - in our lives and it's not likely you'll get that totally on-line. I think you need to think more deeply about why you think people would judge you in a face to face situation. And what does "judge you" mean anyway. We all have opinions about everyone around us but they tend to be a mixture of positive and negative things - that's life. You're clearly focussing on the negative parts of your life at the moment (and we all do that to some extent from time to time) but I'll bet there are many positives inside yourself as well and other people will see them if you let them. To get your mind well you absolutely need to look after your body as well. Nobody should be starving themselves to death - at the very least you start by talking about this to those members of your family who you're still in touch with. I'm pretty certain that they would hate to know you have got this low and would want to help. You should also talk to your doc about the pains in your chest. Almost certainly at your age it's nothing physically serious but it would be an opportunity to talk to your doc about how you feel more generally. You could be surprised about what it opens up. I'd say that it's highly likely that you'll find a way through this however rotten it all seems at the moment. Please, please don't do anything crazy.

Hi Annon,

Reading that made me feel so sad for you. Why were you kicked out of your family home at age 16? Please don't end it. There are people here who will help you.  Please see a doctor for medication - and if you're in touch with your family (except your dad) can't you at least ask them for food? Are you inn the US or UK? We have food banks here for people who can't afford food. Maybe there's a similar thing where you live? If you're in the US I know that lots of churches provide meals for people, but I don't know how you find out which ones. Stay with us - don't end a young life - you have potential, but you just can't see it at the moment. Love Tess

can you get help from social security? are you seeing a Dr? will your family support you as you are in crisis?

Hi Annon. Please listen to the others, do not harm yourself in any way....if you have a telephone them call the SAMARATINS straight away, and tell them honestly how low you feel....

If you live in the UK...you can now go straight to your nearest hospital casualty dept.....tell them that you are feeling suicidal...every dept now have a private room where you seen by either a psychiatrist or mental health nurse straight away....it is a new system for those with mental health problems to be seen privately and sympathetically without a long delay.....

Please, please, please go....I do understand just how awful it can be ( i have overdosed twice myself )

You need and deserve help xxx just as much as anyone else....

I am terribly sorry to hear of your family situation, but you truly can be helped in so many ways....your safety is vitally important...as are you xxx please ask for help now...huge warm. Sincere hugs for you....you are so, so worth it...xxxxxx

After posting this I booked myself into see a doctor. Thanks to everyone who responded to this. They are gonna get me the right help I need from the right people. Other things still not sorted but my mental health needs to be sorted. I wake up on days I feel like I'm drowning with no way back to the top.

I was on medication before 'respirdone' because I witnessed a stabbing in January 2014. Kept having horrific nightmares, waking up panicking in floods of sweat.

I was on diazepam back in 2008 to help me sleep and relax after my brother in law booted me in the face and broke my nose because I was p*ssed and he 'couldn't help me up of the floor'.

I would go to my mum, however after my dad left in January 2015, my youngest sister who is 19 has seem to be copying my dad and abusing and hitting my mum. So I don't want to put my stress on her, she's dealing with my little sister via the right channels but won't be able to help me out as she only gets £31 a week to support both of them.

I'm trying to sort a food bank vouncher out, but seems to be more difficult then intended.

Hi Annon

are you still on here?

Shalom, Gavriel.