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Hi guys, so I'm getting really desperate. As I write this, I feel too tired and weak to even sit up. I have piles of homework on my desk that I physically cannot do because I feel like I can't keep my eyes open. I'm only 16 and I'm practically disabled because of severe fatigue that cannot be explained. I have a mother who doesn't seem to believe that chronic fatigue syndrome is real. I've seen doctors and certain basic stuff has been ruled out, like anemia and thyroid disease, but my doctors, while super caring, won't do much more. I've been offered sleeping pills, but I'm terrified to take prescriptions for the fear that they will only make everything worse. I'm supposed to get a sleep study done, but I can't seem to get one scheduled and it's been months and I still can't get one done. I haven't been properly diagnosed with CFS, but I know that's what my diagnosis should be. I wasn't always like this. I mean, I've always had a degree of disabling fatigue, but it's never been this extreme. It's like this has developed slowly over the years, a virus growing within me insidiously, and now it's full-blown with symptoms. I don't wanna live like this. School is impossible but my parents won't let me stay home. I feel like I have no help or support from my parents or doctors. I can't read because all the information goes into my head and then goes right out, I can't remember what happened yesterday. I'm never gonna be able to finish high school, let alone go to college or ever get some sort of job. I don't wanna live. I don't know where to turn, I can't talk to my mom without getting into a fight. Maybe this is just a flare up. Before the school year began, I became extremely fatigued like this for about 2 weeks and then it improved a little and became more manageable. For a few weeks, I seemed alright and now, for a week so far I'm bedridden again with no identifiable potential trigger. In the midst of feeling like you're dying, what can you do? Is there anything that will make this better? I do notice that if I take a super hot shower, my energy improves slightly for like 20 minutes afterwards. But even then, the heat doesn't really help. Also sometimes it doesn't feel like my body is fatigued, just my mind, head, and eyes. Most of the most troubling symptoms is my "tired eyes." They feel wet and freezing cold and this makes me constantly feel like I need to close them and sleep for 20 years. I'm pretty pale and always freezing to the touch according to other people, but I don't have an iron efficiency or anemia. I have a therapist that I talk to in order to fight the suicidal thoughts that come from this fatigue, but therapy isn't working. Unless this fatigue becomes manageable, I'm gonna wanna die. Please someone say something hopeful or encouraging becasue I feel buried fifty feet under the earth watching everyone else my age be happy.
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