I'm finding it hard to keep trying
Posted , 5 users are following.
I'm really struggling tonight, i've been crying for the last 2 hours. I'm finding it too much to keep trying so hard to be better. I have felt fine for a few weeks and i felt fine today, then suddenly tonight i don't know what has happened, i've fallen down again. I think i've just been trying to be positive and trick myself into thinking that i was getting better, i really did believe i'd seen the end of it.
I'm just so scared now that depression is going to be my life forever, i tried to let if not worry me me, and i thought i was fine with it, but i'm not and it scares me that i might never be the way i used to be.
I'm sorry to come on here and spill my problems, it has all just built up inside me.
0 likes, 13 replies
genziana
Posted
Meganpooch
Posted
I think you may be trying too hard itssofluffy. As Genziana says write down how you feel or better still, write a daily diary. This will get all your thoughts and emotions out of your head any on to paper.
I, like you, had weeks of feeling fine, only to drop for no apparent reason. You will bounce back from this - it is the nature of depression but the longer you are on the drugs the more 'up' days you will get and these big swings in moods/emotions will become smaller ones.
Rant away. There is no need to apologise. We have or are all going through the same experience. I hope later today (now) will see an improvement.
Best wishes
sunset17
Posted
I had 12 hours sleep last night I don't even now how that happened. I feel more positive again today though, I think it was just a little thought I had that I ended up getting all worked up about. I still feel sorry come on here ranting, I hate moaning.
Genziana you are right, this is what I always say to myself, I try not to think in terms of "forever", I just take it day by day. I guess I needed reminding of that though. You are right that I shouldn't be scared of something that is not real, they say aswell that fear is 'being afraid of something that may happen or may never happen in the future,' so why are we afraid of something that isn't real at that moment? It's true I think.
Hi meganpooch, thankyou. I knew there would be times when I would feel low again, I just wasn't expecting it. After such a long time of feeling "well" it just came as a surprise to me, and the worries came spiralling again. I have slept on it though and I don't feel so bad about it today. I feel a bit silly now for getting so worked up.
Best wishes to you both x
Meganpooch
Posted
The peaks and troughs will become less severe with time. Glad you are having a better day today...long may they last.
Best wishes
howie74276
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may2002
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sunset17
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Thankyou for your message. I think that is part of my problem, I don't like allowing myself to cry, but I do try to let it out now when I need to. I understand that holding it in doesn't help me but it's difficult to break that circle when I have lived life that way for so long. x
joan152
Posted
How are we all,the weather here is awful pouring and gardens are so water logged not flooded though like some pore souls. Just a thought that I try and remember Yesterday is History Tomorrow is a Mystery that's why Today is a Gift and so it's the Present.Love to everybody.
genziana
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my sitting room and dream of the sun.
natalieb14
Posted
never posted before but feel desperate and cant speak openly to family or friends. I am 43 and have had awful recurring bouts of chronic depression since about 17. Been in hospital which wa truly awful when I was about 18 and on and off anti depressants since then. Constantly feel its a battle and so full of negativity and self hatred that I find it hard to shake it off. Cant find a reason for feeling so low - life is ok if a bit tedious but become very low very quickly. Have a good job bu now got in a mess financially as spend for no reason. hubby doesn't get the depression and feel I am ruining his life and it would be best if I just disappeared. keep thinking about how I could end all of this and not have to wake up feeling so bad and full of depair. please help I cant talk safely to anyone.
mark14406
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mark14406
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sunset17
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