I'm finding it hard to love my child

Posted , 2 users are following.

Hi everyone, this is a horrible thing to talk about, but I'm struggling with depression and anxiety and I', really worried that I don't love my child anymore. I go into work and cope, but when I get home I feel awful. I look at her and don't feel anything - or I feel irritated with her. It's making my depression worse, as I can't bear a future feeling this way. Has anyone expereinced anything similar? X

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Posted

    How old is your child question neutral
    • Posted

      But you are otherwise looking after her, I mean you aren't neglecting her at all question Who's supporting you / looking after her while you work question Have you talked (carefully) to your Doctor, or are you already taking medications question smile
  • Posted

    Inthewoods,

    i have similar feelings but i but I can't imagine what you're going through. I don't have a child but I'm having those feelings of emptiness currently with my partner of 18 months. 

    Exactly the same, I go to work and I can cope. But sometimes when I'm with her I'm just empty. A big part of what feeds in to my depression is guilt. I feel guilty for not loving when I know I should. And I know the loving feelings are there, I just can't feel them.

    Everyone talks about negative emotion in depression, but lack of emotion can be equally difficult. It can help to take solace in the fact that the love is there, you just don't get to feel it. It's so hard to feel this way but don't blame yourself. 

    All the best

    Ash

    • Posted

      Hi Ash, it's horrible isn't it. One minute you love them, the next you feel like you don't. I think it's all inside us, and once the anxiety and depression lifts it will start coming back. Are you on any medication? X
    • Posted

      It does come back, it's happened in the past and it's come back multiple times but I'm stuck in a rut where it hasn't come back yet. I'm beyond desperation for it. 

      I don't take medication, all the medications I've tried are laced with side effects which fed in to my anxiety and actually worsened my self esteem and happiness. I used to be on citalopram and sertraline and found both helped with the depression though. How about you?

    • Posted

      I'm on citalopram. I took it after I had PND after my daughter was born and it helped me, so I'm hoping it does again. My main problem is depression, and I find if that lifts the anxiety tends to fade. It's a long, hard road isn't it! X

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