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As per my last post I am not actually sure if I do have an eating disorder although I accept that my thought patterns are worrying.
I spoke to my GP on the phone a few days before Christmas and she is going to have a more in depth discussion with me face to face at my January 6th appointment.
Anyway here is my worrying thought pattern, on Christmas morning it was 6 days since I had recorded my weight, it was 7 stone 7 1/2.
I didn't binge on the day but I ate more than usual, about 2000 I think but I did not weigh out my food portions that day because I wanted to be relaxed about food for one day.
Usually I limit to 1300 per day, I am only 156cm and still have a 19.5 BMI, I am not very active due to anxiety disorder so don't burn an awful lot either.
Today it is 7 stone 8, okay my doctor told me not to go lower than 7 stone 12 so I know it's fine but I wanted to do it slowly for my own sanity.
I want to see what the extra calories at Christmas will do and then aim to add 0.5 pounds per week until I get to 7 stone 12 as advised by the doctor.
But I am scared, despite only eating around the 1300 mark for the past 3 days I already gained half a pound, what if it keeps piling on fast?
I was going to wait until Jan 1st, one week clear of Christmas and then increase my calories but now I am too scared to in case it's already out of control, I am trying so hard not to weight myself again until Friday now but I'm scared that when I do I am going to see a huge gain.
I am feeling like I want to cut to 1000 calories to stop the gain but I know that would be bad and unhealthy.
Please help me, why did I gain 0.5 pounds so fast and is it just going to keep piling on now even if I eat the same as I was before Christmas day?
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