I’m giving up more and more everyday. I’m 16.
Posted , 7 users are following.
I'm sixteen years old. Ive been sad and thought i had depression for years but then i really knew i had it. this year 2018 has been so horrid. my depression is worse than ever and i have nobody to talk to. i want help but i don' t want my grandma to know or my doctors i want to see doctors somewhere else but I know i cant. so ill suffer. I'm going to kill myself. its only a matter of time, i will never get better. I'm going to, for the rest of you. you are all so much stronger than me. I've been reading your stories, for months
2 likes, 12 replies
elena90438 mar16
Posted
Dear blahh95199,
My daughter is 17 and its literally tearing my heart to read your post.
If you need to talk please please contact me, i'll be happy to talk.
Depending where are you from wish i can offer you help and support seeing a doctor honestly. It's really important. When you have depression unfortunately its not you its your depression talking on your behalf!
Please think about it.
With love,
Elena
christine43958 mar16
Posted
Hi Mark I am 47 have been suffering depression all my life I was abused when I was a kid it's hard I know every day is a fight to stay alive but there is help out there you must be strong and face your fears you are to young to think about not living you have so much to give you must get help.
mar16 christine43958
Posted
thank you but i just cant get help. Ive lived with my grandma since i was two days old. mom and dad are dead beats. my grandma is 70 years old and shes caught me self harming a year or two ago and thinks I'm crazy. shes just not that understanding and I'm afraid what she'll think of me if i ask for help. i just want help but i don't want to hurt her i don't know what to do. My best friend wants to take me to the hospital and ask if theres any way to get help without my guardian but its a long shot. i don't want depression all my life.... I cant fight it that long..
angelo88861 mar16
Posted
I too went through what you are going. However, it took for me to see a psychologist to make the correct diagnosed. He then referred me to a psychiatrist who prescribed the correct medication and that is what you need to do. God bless
mar16 angelo88861
Posted
thank you but i just cant get help. Ive lived with my grandma since i was two days old. mom and dad are dead beats. my grandma is 70 years old and shes caught me self harming a year or two ago and thinks I'm crazy. shes just not that understanding and I'm afraid what she'll think of me if i ask for help. i just want help but i don't want to hurt her i don't know what to do. My best friend wants to take me to the hospital and ask if theres any way to get help without my guardian but its a long shot.
wayne1962 mar16
Posted
mar16 - your grandma is toxic. Forget about hurting her - you are desperate and teaching you to self harm is thoroughly irresponsible and actually criminal. At 16 you are still considered a child, which makes your power limited. Why won't you tell your docs what's what? That's what they are there for. Are you in school? Is there a counsellor there to talk to?
That best friend of yours is a friend indeed and his/her suggestion re: hospital is a very sensible approach. You cannot carry on making excuses not to get help, because that's what thay are - excuses. You are not the first to seek help and won't be the last.
A doctor will assess you and may prescribe medications. They will take 3-6 weeks to work. There may be a need to adjust meds or tweak dosages, there is no one-size-fits-all with depression. A referral may be given for a counsellor/therapist or psychologist if there are underlying issues that need to be dealt with - physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse in your childhood. At first the process will be daunting - it's no different for anyone no matter what age, race, sex, sexuality or what they had for breakfast. Give yourself time to settle into it. Keep a journal of your feelings. There may be triggers that need to be recognised so you can counter them consciously.
You are young, your whole life ahead of you. There is no need for you to suffer. Help is outside your door but it won't find you, you must find it. Many of us just WISH that the help available for you today was available to us when we were young. Our lives would have been very different. You have that opportunity, go out and get it. For you and your future. Meanwhile, we are always here to talk - and we know how to talk about it because we are all sufferers - and survivors - ourselves. Just. Like. You.
mar16
Posted
my grandma isnt toxic, i cant get help. it might be an excuse but i just cant i dont want to hurt her. but its getting so bad. i was driving today and my mind just told me to end it. drive off that bridge and just end everything. i sat there and thought about it and i kept driving home. now im home crying and having an anxiety attack and i just cant take this anymore. i woke up @2 am this morning from a bad dream and i was laying there and i just lost it and cried until 5 am ans i couldnt sleep . i was late to school, i cried 10 tines today and on top of everything school is so hard, im stupid i cant do math. grades go out sokn. i just feel like everyone hates me and im not enough
wayne1962 mar16
Posted
"I can't get help." Yes you can. Stop making excuses. It's a key stroke or a doctors visit away. Or the hospital ED. You don't want granny to know so you'd rather kill yourself? Your death is better than grandma knowing? Gee, that'll fix everything. Then how will she feel? I'll tell you:
"My own grand daughter didn't think enough of me to approach me with her problem so i could help her. Now there is no helping her. Now I will go to my grave blaming myself because I didn't help her. Her selfishness not only deprived me of a grand daughter, it destroyed her own life and opportunity."
I've explained intricately what you need to do. Go and do it.
mar16 wayne1962
Posted
thats burtal. its not even like that. it doesn't matter. if i don't kill myself before she passes then the day she passes is the day ill go too. i need help but i dont want help anymore. i give up, i dont wanna be dealig with this my whole life which will happen so im just going to end it. thank all of you for you help, your kind and not so lond words. goodbye
mar16
Posted
my grandma isnt toxic, i cant get help. it might be an excuse but i just cant i dont want to hurt her. but its getting so bad. i was driving today and my mind just told me to end it. drive off that bridge and just end everything. i sat there and thought about it and i kept driving home. now im home crying and having an anxiety attack and i just cant take this anymore. i woke up @2 am this morning from a bad dream and i was laying there and i just lost it and cried until 5 am ans i couldnt sleep . i was late to school, i cried 10 tines today and on top of everything school is so hard, im stupid i cant do math. grades go out sokn. i just feel like everyone hates me and im not enough
marianne43250 mar16
Posted
hi,
i just messaged you- please message me back as I would really like to help
elena90438 mar16
Posted
Hi!
i just messaged you. plz i mean it write to me. Sometimes you want to lock yourself from whole word - its normal reaction
for people like we are. But there is no way out of there if you will not try to do something about it. ITS difficult.... but it's possible.