I'm going crazy

Posted , 14 users are following.

I seriously need some help because I'm scared I would do something I do not want to,but the pain is just unbearble at this point. I've done nothing but cried this last 3 days...the worst is this aweful feeling of helplesness and pain and anger at the same time and I just wanna scream because it is so aweful ,I have to scratch (I cannot think of better word) myself so hard to control myself and make the pain more bearable. And then for a few seconds I'm calm and it starts again. I have been depressed pretty much all of my life without telling my family (even though my mum said she and grandma both had it and I should tell her if I start feeling depressed) , I just don't know how to say that. I managed to push away all of the friends i had and now I'm failing exams so much I would fail a year. And as cherry on top of the cake I think I have social anxiety because I can't think of what to say to people or even when I open my mouth it's usually the stupidest thing,so..yeah.It's been charming so far and I'm 20 year old female ,I should be going out, parting, drinking,doing something, but instead I locked myself in the house (about a year). If it isn't sad it would have been funny. So,finally my question to anyone who has nerves to read this is does it ever get better (because right now I feel like there is no exit ,like there is no better tomorrow and that i would never have someone to love me and deep down I dont think I deserve it) and how to tell my mum ,because almost every time I try to talk to her I cry,I feel like she doesnt understand me (we never had much of a relationship,there was always yelling,shouting ,insulting from both sides) ? 

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    The first step is you've come on here to talk now you need to visit your gp and they will give you some meds.

    We all have been in your shoes and know exactly where your coming from so stay strong cause it does get better believe me.

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  • Posted

    You should tell your mum. She should fully understand how your feeling if she has suffered herself. Go and see your doctor and tell him everything your feeling. You might be started on some anti depressants or some therapy. I know how your feeling. Depression is an awful illness.
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  • Posted

    I think the best thing to do would be to speak to your mum. If she has been through it before she will know exactly what you're going through. Then I'm sure she would advise and help you with going through the right steps to get better. 

    I'd also highly recommend going to see a doctor who can work out some of the reasons you might be feeling the way you do and work towards helping the root cause as well as dealing with the depression you have now. 

    ( Hope this heps ) 

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  • Posted

    Hi, I've been where you are and it really isn't a nice place but in my experience the worst thing you can do is deal with it on your own, I did this and things only got worse, I didn't speak to my mum about it either, also thought she wouldn't understand but I did eventually speak to my doctor and I also now have a counsellor that I see once a week, doing this was the scariest thing I've done in my life but I am so happy I did, I still have my off days, but having someone to talk to really helps.

    Hope this helps and really hope you feel better soon x 

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  • Posted

    I have a difficult relationship with my mum, I always feel like she is trying to "one up" whatever I say (if I say I didn't sleep last night with anxiety, she hasn't slept in a week) so I can understand if (for different reasons) you feel your mum isn't the right person to speak to initially.

    You do need to speak to someone though. Try going to your gp and explaining how you feel. Theye'll be able to advise you and you'll come out with a bit of a better idea of what's going on and treatments. I found getting a diagnosis and coming to terms with the fact that I'm not mad but have a chemical imbalance of serotonin actually helped me and helped me to communicate this to others.

    It also helped me to formulate a plan of action for how I was going to get better (anti depressants then talking to people then exercising to increase my endorphins.and left my mood).

    I got better and was pill and bad thoughts free for 5 years.

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    • Posted

      "I found getting a diagnosis and coming to terms with the fact that I'm not mad but have a chemical imbalance of serotonin actually helped me and helped me to communicate this to others."

      Sorry, did you ever have MRI scan results that proved this?

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    • Posted

      Hi boing333 I know this post is from 3 years ago but I’m on the same boat right know... I’ve tried 4 different meds and none have help I’m feeling really down... Can I ask you how you found out about the chemical imbalance please,please? I don’t know what to do😢I feel like I’m going crazy..

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  • Posted

    I know how you feel about not telling your parents when I was 21 i worked as a teacher and suffered with depression for 4 months. I went to see a doctor who told me i needed to get out more and see people. This was 6 years ago when depression and axiety was still a grey area i so wish i had got a second opinion and tried meds. Instead i broke down, a day didnt go by when i didnt cry and stopped eating meals and didnt leave my bedroom. In the end i broke down on the phone and my dad has to come collect me I didnt want to leave the job, felt like a failure but i needed to get myself back to a sane state. 

    If I knew now when I was 20 things could have been very different. Talk to your mum or go see a doctor i know its hard as Ive had to do it a few times but you need to know your not the only one. Your not crazy and i doubt you talk about stupid things, i found exercise to be a great turner in my life its something i can do and dont have time to think about anything else, just put some tunes in and cycle smile.

    Im not sure if this has helped but i really hope you feel better in the future and if you have any questions dont hesitate to shoot me any questions. 

    Mark

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  • Posted

    i feel the same as you, I sometimes feel as if it doesnt get easier, but im only 17 so only a little younger than you, I understand exactly how you feel. maybe any councelling or therapy may help, i am starting therapy soon so its something that you may consider? Or taking up a new hobby and keeping your mind occupied

    Sorry if i havent been much help

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  • Posted

    Hi lejla  wat a nice name you have by the way....im from usa california  so my english may seem different from what youre used to in the u.k. im sorry you feel so terrible but sweetie you are not alone lot of us feel just like you do i have felt like you since i was 21 if you read this get back to me id love to write to you more....
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  • Posted

    Hey, yes it get's better. Sounds like you might need some form of medication. Forcing yourself to go out really helps. Baths, cups of tea, orange juice. Focus on the moment and stop expecting too much from yourself. It's the simple pleasures in life. There's a stigma surrounding mental illness that I know all too well, suffering from Depression and OCD myself. Some of the best practices I've came across in my vigorous reading are the practices of mindful and meditation, don't know if you've tried any of these before? Antidepressants might help, but I'd urge you to try jogging or some form of exercise for an hour each day (literally you'll have to force yourself, but It'll be worth it' I know the pain of not having the motivation to get out of bed, but I had to force myself to go out and work, get a job. It gave me a sense of purpose realising that I ciuld go out and help people. Spontaneous acts of kindness will do wonders for your self esteem, stop beating yourself up. It's time to give that innercritical voice a backbench seat. Ignore it, we're our own worst critic. Sorry, this is wordy as hell, but exercise, if you feel you need more medication and I don't know if you've ever had any CBT? As for what you were saying, don't do that and don't harm yourself please. Ifyhou don't have anyone you feel you can talk to talk to a professional. Don't give up, you're gonna make it!
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  • Posted

    i need help ive been wanting to kill myself for months now i cut myself to make the pain go away i hide it from everyone but i dont know how long i can keep this up i think about killing my self every day i dont know wehat to do any more please help me
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  • Posted

    sorry i got it mixed up i thought you could help me but i have realised i have to start my own descution im realy sorry
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