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I'm having a relapse?!

Posted , 3 users are following.

Wontly
Wontly

As some of you know, I started having anxiety attacks/depression a few months back. I started receiving counselling and managed to get myself back on track. But now I seem to be falling back into my old ways again. I seem to be thinking that everything that happens in my life is my fault, I feel empty again and like I want/need to be loved and that I have serious health issues.

I, for one know that I don't have serious health issues, and I am thankful for this. At the moment, I have sore, stingy eyes due to lack of sleep and headaches too, due to dehydration. I am trying to balance exercise, health and life, but I feel like my anxiety attacks/ depression is weighing me down.

Everytime I have a negative thought relating to my health, or my family's health, I go absolutely beserk. And I also get thoughts like: 'What if no-one really loves me? Why am I so misunderstood' etc.

I know they are utter rubbish, but I can't seem to escape them or distract myself enough. I hate re-occuring thoughts. I hate anxiety and I hate depression. I hate the feelings they bring. I've been trying to get as much of it out my system as possible through different outlets, and I have been praying a lot.

It seems to work, until I go to bed at night. My thoughts keep me up and drive me crazy. I am trying natural sleeping pills at the moment, but nothing seems to be working, though I am fine when I eventually go to sleep (until someone wakes me up unessecarily).

What do I do? I feel like giving up. I feel like everything is just too much for me. I feel like everything I do damages my health, my relationships and that everything which happens to me is my fault.

Can someone help me get to the bottom of this once and for all? Thanks.

1 like, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • gillian81509
    gillian81509 Wontly

    Posted

    Hi 

    I can fully relate to where you are got that t shirt and the next one when just as you think cracked dank it if it doesn't sneak back lol 

    and it's so annoying to not sleep worst of all as that leaves you horrible and so the circle goes 

    I now read at night I have a warm drink I talk to my Sig who doesn't mind what I look like she loves me and I can tell all my worries fears and she licks me, free therapy session 

    have a good Xmas and enjoy 

    • Wontly
      Wontly gillian81509

      Posted

      Yeah, I usually can't sleep until about 4-5am most days. It really irritates me, especially when I have to wake up the next day early. It's a vicious cycle, isn't it? rolleyes You keep worrying about stupid stuff, like runing C'mas. C'mon. It isn't gonna happen. It plays on your mind and makes you worse.

      I try to talk to people I trust, but sometimes I feel like they don't understand me. I talk to God a lot, and it does help (well, for me it does anyway). And reading sounds good too. I try the breathing exercises. They're not bad. They work for a while.. It's a start

      I write down stuff and try to sort it out. It also helps a bit. I'm trying to manage and control these thoughts/feelings and rationalize them, but sometimes it is hard. I need to get better at it.

      And same to you smile Hope you get loads of gifts.

    • gillian81509
      gillian81509 Wontly

      Posted

      Hi 

      not expecting loads of gifts we have kept Xmas v low key no decs but will have a breakfast and lunch we really enjoy a nice walk 

      my two boyz r here another one is in Australia and a daughter in south Africa 

      enjoy it's just a bigger Sunday 

      Yep talk to God take yourself out and chat away you can always look for fido if someone questions you 

      write it down and then burn it let someone somebeing have your problems and worries 

      tc

    • Wontly
      Wontly gillian81509

      Posted

      That's nice smile

      I talk to God as much as I can, and I thank him for everything. And I talk about my issues, and that also helps.

  • naomi53848
    naomi53848 Wontly

    Posted

    Overthinking is the worst feeling and you start to have irrational thoughts which then cause more low mood and depression it's a vicious cycle I find myself in all the time. 

    Don't give up you can and will get through this I promise. 

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