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I'm losing my humanity.

Posted , 6 users are following.

Doom
Doom

It's been months since I started my new job twelve hour shifts ,four days one week five the next. With that I also have had no contact with any friends or family in the process . I don't know why , it's not like my personality changed then . Now I'm lacking empathy for others ,feeling like a ghost that no one notices. Before I'd give anyone the shirt off my back and now I wouldn't give anyone a lint covered dime. I'm just going through the motions work , sleep , work and sleep and even at work I'm treated like I don't exist. Then out of the blue my sister texts me saying we have a long lost cousin and I just don't care. I don't care about anyone anymore even deaths in the family didn't phase me and I don't understand why. I wanted for so long to be treated like I was a person and now I suppose I just long for death. It has to be better than not really living and being looked at as an appliance like a vacuum or Washing machine.

2 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • yona-
    yona- Doom

    Posted

    Going through these phases are hard! It's like all emotions are shut off and your becoming something your not..

    What do you enjoy doing what brings you emotions? If you don't have anything then try something new and try to see if you can bring emotions into your life!

    I'm sorry this is all I can do to help!

    Yona~

    • Doom
      Doom yona-

      Posted

      I used to enjoy playing games ,but I don't have the time to anymore.

  • yona-
    yona- Doom

    Posted

    Going through these phases are hard! It's like all emotions are shut off and your becoming something your not..

    What do you enjoy doing what brings you emotions? If you don't have anything then try something new and try to see if you can bring emotions into your life!

    I'm sorry this is all I can do to help!

    Yona~

  • sue22623
    sue22623 Doom

    Posted

    hi,

    sorry to hear about how you are feeling it sounds like you are so physically and mentally drained. i used to work very long hours but that was in my late twenties and i was a lot younger. my husband also worked long hours so we just made the most and recharged at weekends. but also you have so much more energy. i am actually on my own now, well everything you could think of went wrong and im back home at parents . i took this hard and it took me a very long time to get my head around from having my own home, husband etc. when i split i just worked and work and got diagnoised with depression. to the point where i would not give too hoots about anyone and thinking what is the point. i am still busy in other ways but have learnt to slow down which has helped. also like you have no time for any other hobbies or am just too tired. i am starting to get back to the old me thinking of others first like i always did and that makes me happy. there is more to than work but yea you still need to pay the bills and it is a vicious circle. i am a loner but do have a beautiful family, no children but my sisters do but apart from that i dont do anything other than see them when they come over. i do suffer from depression and am on meds for it but sometime that just makes you feel numb. you do somehow need to find time for you and get to enjoy some pleasures otherwise you will crack up. i still think are just so tired it is making you feel so very low. have you considered talking to your doctor or another help group? I do wish you all the best and hope in time you get back to being happy you x please seek help because life is so short and ive also been anerexic for so mnay years, another battle i trying to deal with but i am still fighting x

  • hypercat
    hypercat Doom

    Posted

    Well I think you are very tired. 48 hours one week and 60 the other is far too much to work and you don't have enough work/life balance. Can you cut your hours down to a more reasonable 35-40 or so? I think that would help you. x

    • Doom
      Doom hypercat

      Posted

      Sadly no ,those are the set hours for everyone , not including the weekly mandatory overtime I somehow always get pulled for.

    • hypercat
      hypercat Doom

      Posted

      I don't know what country you are in but if the UK then the law states you cannot be made to work more than 48 hours in any week unless you have signed a work contract that you have opted out of this. I don't know about other countries though.

      I would definitely look for a new job! x

  • naomi26687
    naomi26687 Doom

    Posted

    i am feeling the same way atm so you are not alone, i dont have any friend and I'm not that close to my family life get me down my partner works 5 days a week as i dont leave the house on my own so I only get to go out 2 days a week, maby you could use the days you have off to meet with your friends or family even if its just for a pint

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