i’m losing my mind

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ive been clinically depressed since 4th grade. im a junior in high school now, and i stopped taking my medication about a year ago. ive been an using medical marijuana for the past 6 months, but had to stop due to my parents finding out about a week ago. in the past week, ive had multiple breakdowns and panic attacks every day, i cant even go to school anymore because if i do, ill spend most of the day sobbing in the bathroom, i have random moments of anger where i throw things or drive really fast if im in the car, and on friday, i began writing a suicide note at school while crying in the bathroom but i have no memory of doing this. i found the note in my jacket pocket later that day. my parents know all of this is going on, minus the note, but im starting to become scared of myself. i feel like im not in control of my body anymore. i feel like i should be in a psychiatric hospital but every time my parents have brought it up i just become enraged. i see a therapist regularly, but im starting to think thats not enough. im not asking for a diagnosis, i just need to be pointed in the right direction

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    I'm sorry your going thru this. I know school is rough. I'm happy to hear that your parents are in involved as they know you best. And yes so important to talk with a therapist as they can help guide you as well. I wouldn't recommend stopping any medication without the doctor's approval. Call your doctor to see how you can start again--let them know you are having panic attacks and breakdowns at school. Going forward try to be honest with yourself as well as the people who care for you. Have you tried exercise or journaling your feelings to help with your anger? I do both and it does help a great deal!! I'm sure you know this but driving really fast in a car is dangerous-- you can possibly hurt yourself as well as others causing bigger problems. Talk care of yourself!!!

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