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Hi, I'm 17, nearly 18. Loneliness is what keeps my sanity fade. Barely have any friends. Far from most of my family. I lost my best friend too - grew apart. I really have no one. I thought I can move on and get over my depression but it's not simple. The pain, frustration and everything is overwhelming. Painful that I live in a void - dark, empty, no future, nowhere to go. It's all blurry. I have several insecurities.
I can't express the agony I'm going through. Some people think it's shallow but we all have different tolerance to pain. I really want to disappear and never thinking of going back. It's the suicidal thoughts. I feel like everyone would be so much happier without me. There are many people deserving to live than I do. I want to help people and animals as I feel like it's my vocation. But I can't. I'm far away from those people in need. I have no money and my family wouldn't let me as to I have to "finish my studies". I can't be happy anymore and it's more of a chore to wake up and get up every morning. I want to end my life.
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