I'm MISERABLE !!!!!!! - My Bartholin abscess experience so far

Hello to any lady who will dedicate her time to reading my post ❤️. It might turn into a long one because I feel hopeless and I want to pour my emotions out in this post.

I'm a 29-year old woman living in Sweden. I had my first ever Bartholin cyst when I was about 20-21. It was on the right side. I find my case very strange though because the majority of comments from women experiencing this and trying to find the root cause of it allude to having sex after which their cysts and abscesses flare up. However in my case I started my sex life quite late. I was 25 to be more precise when I met my current boyfriend with whom I started having sex. So when I got my first Bartholin cyst, I was a virgin so to say :>. Moreover, I've never had any vagina related infection. I was a healthy young girl and ready for a beautiful life ahead of me. Hence, my first Bartholin cyst came out of nowhere. It was a rather small but hard bump which caused me a bit of pain. Maybe 5 days later it popped on its own and a bloody, smelly, yellowish discharge came out of it. I did not go to a gynecologist however... Miraculously I was free from this problem for about 6-7 years. So even after I met my boyfriend, we were able to enjoy a healthy sex life for approximately 3 years of being together which, considering were we're at right now, is nice and I will always cherish this :}}

However, "all the good things must come to an end", right? It definitely did for me. About 2-1,5 years ago my Bartholin cyst came back. That time it was a bit worse compared to the first one. It was bigger, more painful, I had a harder time walking and sitting, and when it popped again on it's own, even more blood and puss-filled discharge came out. Probably worth mentioning that by this time I had bacterial vaginosis and bladder inflammation (although nobody can tell, but I think that these might have affected why I got Bartholin again). Anyways, that Bartholin infection scared me and I ended up getting antibiotics from a gynecologist. After taking them, I was free from it for about 8-10 months. It came back again and this time even more worse. When it popped after about 5 days of torturing me, the pressure from the stream of blood and puss made me weak that I almost fainted. I was prescribed antibiotics again. To make matters worse, I was diagnosed with a Bartholin cyst on my left side in the meantime, which was not infected... (then) .

Unfortunately, 2-3 months later I had another infection on my right side. This was February 2022. However this time I could not afford waiting for it to pop on its own again at home. It was HUGE! My vagina on the right side got all swollen. My hands were shaking when I looked in the mirror and saw how the infection was progressing. I could not sit, walk or lay down without excruciating pain. I could not sleep because of pulsating pain due to the swelling. I could not stop tears running out of my eyes. I ended up going to an emergency late at night (probably close to midnight). The doctor made a small incision to drain the abscess and I went home. 2 weeks later it came back again yet more worse. This time I even had fever about 38,5 C°. I was shivering. My vagina got swollen badly once again. The abscess was increasing in size right before my eyes. I rushed to emergency again. This time I had my first ever Word catheter. The doctors and the nurse who worked on inserting it were very nice to me. They said I can take it out after 4 weeks and showed me how to do it. It was painful however to have this foreign object inside of my body, especially for the first 2-3 weeks. I was taking pain killers to alleviate the pain. After having the catheter for about 3 weeks and getting used to it, I started to feel strange pain. I walked into the bathroom, started touching it and I could feel a hard bump forming behind the balloon. It was another infection. It started to drain after 4 days.

After taking out this first catheter I felt good. Although I had stinging pain in the gland when I was getting horny and also from a clitoris orgasm. It was quite unbearable. So, as ridiculous as it sounds, I was trying to avoid getting horny. This pain started to get better about 1 month post catheter removal. In the meantime, the bartholin cyst on the left side increased. I think it was due to sex. The hard lump stayed for about 1 month.

Sadly, my problems did not end here. 3 months post catheter removal I got my 4th Bartholin abscess on the right side. This was July 2022. My temperature jumped to 39 C°. Once again I rushed to emergency where I gotmy 2nd Word catheter. This time the experience was traumatising. Before giving me local anesthesia, the doctor decided to squeeze the puss out. There're no words to describe the pain I felt. I was shocked and unprepared since I was not handled like that during my 1st catheter insertion. I started shaking in that chair, my legs started shaking too and the doctor looked at me with frowned eyebrows... I was in so much stress... Why would she squeeze the abscess if she knew she would give me local anesthesia and I would feel nothing after the medication would kick in???? By the way, she actually wanted to cut me open and insert the catheter without anesthesia. She was applying some gel on my vagina and as I was laying there I wondered "what is going on? what is she doing?". So I asked if she's gonna give me anesthesia. Her rather arrogant and discontent answer was that "my experience proves that women experience the needle as more painful compared to the cut of the scalpel". Something inside of me made me doubt this. I am so glad I trusted my gut feeling and demanded anesthesia. Everything was so swollen and painful there that a needle was just a tiny tiny pinch. I do not know how it would've been with the scalpel and no medication, which I am happy about. But I was still feeling enormous pain from all the squeezing of the puss she did before. After finishing her job, she also left that tube of the catheter outside of my vagina. The previous time, the doctor put the catheter inside the vagina so it wouldn't touch my legs and cause me discomfort. I asked her to do it this time too and she said "it will fall out anyways". However, it didn't. Sad that we women who are already in so much pain and suffering have to meet doctors who do not sympathise with you. It can be very difficult for a sensitive person, like me. I went back to my boyfriend who was waiting in the car. My legs and hands were still shaking from this experience. I burst into uncontrollable crying. I could not utter a word. I was screaming in the car. My poor lovely boyfriend was shocked too and tried to calm me down. However, I continued crying as we drove back home and cried at home too until I finally calmed down. I was supposed to keep this 2nd catheter for 4 weeks, as usual I guess, but I ended up keeping for 6 weeks instead. The reason is because once again, there was another infection forming behind the balloon...

While I had the 2nd catheter, I started desperately looking for other treatments as I realized the catheter is not going to solve my problem. I knew from researching earlier that there is a so called CO2 laser treatment for these glands. Unfortunately, no such option is available in Sweden. I looked for clinics in Europe. I found 2 in Italy, wrote to them but never received a reply. I continued searching and this time tried Spain. I found 2 clinics in Barcelona. Both of them replied!!!! I was so happy just to receive a reply from someone!!! I am glad that they also replied in English :}}. However, after communicating with one of the clinics and almost booking a flight to go for a consultation, there next message was that "we can't help you, because the doctor who does CO2 laser procedure does not work here anymore". I found this very strange, because on their website they have a seperate page where they present this procedure in greater detail. Till this day I think it was because of communication and because of all the inconvenience I was causing to them as I was not in Spain.

Anyways, I continued my communication with the second clinic. I booked an appointment on 10th of October. In the reviews on Google I also found a girl who did this procedure. It was not easy to find here contacts, but my boyfriend managed to find an email. I wast not sure if it was hers, but wrote to her regardless. She replied!!!!!!! She was so nice, I can't even describe. You seldom happen to meet truly kind people who are genuinely willing to help you. But there she was - a woman who has suffered from this problem for over 10 years and was almost 1 year post CO2 laser procedure. She was even so kind as to suggest to accompany me to my consultation and help to communicate with the doctor.

As all this happened, I was free from my 2nd Word catheter. However, I was not free from pain. I do not know why, but ever since I took the catheter out, I started to feel an intense burning pain in the area where the catheter was placed. Sometimes the pain is pretty sharp. The worst thing is that it is always there, turturing me everyday. I went to a gynecologist 3 weeks later after I took the catheter out realising that something is not quite right (I did not experience this after my 1st catheter). I was told that she has no clue why it hurts because there is no puss there now and the cut is healing nicely. She said that it's maybe because the gland was healing from the inside. However, almost 3 months after removing my 2nd catheter I still have this pain. EVERYDAY!!! I am so exhausted from it. Pain killers are not helping so there is no point it taking them. I also got very horny last weekend, but I had to force this feeling to stop because the pain in the gland was so sharp, so intense. Also (because of getting horny or I don't even know why), my left gland increased. Yesterday for the first time since I was diagnosed with a Bartholin cyst on this side, blood and puss started to drain from it. It drained a bit today too. So my vagina is on fire because of the pain on the left gland and the chronic pain on the right side after removing the catheter. Because of all these problems and how I feel, I haven't had sex with my boyfriend since July. Not even a clitoris orgasm because it causes excruciating pain/stinging in the right gland. What's supposed to give me pleasure, gives me only pain. I am so sad that this is where were're at right now in our relationship. I am dealing very badly with this whole situation psychologically. After trying to live some kind of life during the day, I end up crying in bed before going to sleep because I am tired of the pain and suffering. I cry at different points during the day also... I feel so sorry for my boyfriend who tries to calm me down without succeeding...

I did go to Barcelona on 10th of October and I did meet with that wonderful girl I mentioned. We went to the doctor together. I find out that the doctor can only do the CO2 laser treatment when I have the abscess. Actually the bigger the abscess is, the better it is for her because then she can see the walls of the abscesses and the gland itself. I was sad to find this out, because this means that I will need to take a 3,5 hour flight with a huge infection. I have no idea how I am going to do this and if do it at all. But I really want to finish what I started with this CO2 laser treatment and actually do it. My gynecologist in Sweden said that since I had 5 infections from February the next procedure for me is marsupialization. But I don't want to do it just yet. First, I want to try this CO2 laser. I have nothing to lose anyways, just a bit of money. But it does not really matter for me on which operation table to lay down. It's either a CO2 laser or the marsupialization. However, the CO2 laser is not as invasive as marsupialization is as it does not need stitches and consequently does not leave scars. That's one of the reasons why I want to try it first. Maybe this will be the solution for me. I can always get sliced and have marsupialization if the CO2 laser does not work. But I do not know if I'm gonna make it to Barcelona when I have my 6th Bartholin abscess... I guess I will figure this out relatively soon considering the times it reoccurs for me.

So this is where I am at right now. The quality of my life has been ruined by this problem, as it has for many of you. I will go to a gynecologist on Monday regarding this chronic pain in my right gland... However, I doubt I will get it solved. I made a post about it in this group, but got no replies. Can it be that I am the only one experiencing this pain? Maybe.

Thank you so much once again if you read this post. I tried to make it as chronological as possible for it to be more understandable. I know it is not very helpful, but I just wanted to get some of the things of my chest by writing it. Not that it will change anything sadly... I get so hopeless realising that I will also be one of these poor women who suffer from this problem for decades.. Why should it be otherwise for me? I can only hope that I do not go insane :}}}

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