I'm not coping
Posted , 5 users are following.
My partner left me and my two young children 6 weeks ago for another woman. Our relationship hadn't been right for some time but I never saw this coming. I'm going through the motions and i know it's early days but the hate and loss that I feel is overwhelming. I've suffered from depression in the past but this is different. It's like he's died. Whilst I know I am better off without him I feel so alone. This is not the case. I have great family and friends but I just can't seem to reach out to anybody. I have never felt so low and don't want to go to the doctors as I know the drill. Tablets and signed off from work. I feel I can't give in to this darkness but I don't know how much longer I can feel this way before it takes over. I just want the pain and constant bleakness to go away
1 like, 10 replies
Wilb Charlotte_rose
Posted
alan56015 Wilb
Posted
Don't write off seeing your GP for help. It can help and you don't necessarily need to be signed off from work as routine is good too. Sorry about what you're going through but you will come out the other side better and stronger.
Charlotte_rose alan56015
Posted
Charlotte_rose Wilb
Posted
Maybe your right. Maybe I'm expecting too much of myself too soon without getting some help.
Misssy2 Charlotte_rose
Posted
I had a broken relationship after 22 years...and I was at the point of hate and despise with this guy...but my life still changed and I still missed him.
Just understand you have to grieve the passing of this relationship and carry on for your children.
Your children are also grieving....maybe if you can focus on THAT....(even if they are very small)...there is a new emptiness.
Maybe if you throw yourself into doing things to make it easier for them....than you can avoid some of your drasticly sad feelings sometimes.
Keep busy...please find the strength to vist with family and friends and bring them! Distraction is good....
Charlotte_rose Misssy2
Posted
Thank you so much. I think your right about time. It just seems to be going by so slowly. I'm keeping myself busy and thank god for the summer holidays! It's the evenings when it's worse. The loneliness is crippling. I just want this hatred to subside.
Misssy2 Charlotte_rose
Posted
yikes Charolotte...so in the evenings...can you get hooked on a TV show or something you can look forward to?
Coloring? Word Searches?
They say it takes 21 days to form new habits..its been 6 weeks since you have been apart...so you must have some new habits...
How about a favorite snack or something? Or a phone call to a favorite person (who you have been blocking out).
Read sites about how to get rid of "hate".....that will pass some time as well.
It just takes a long time...when my split happened my kids were older...one over 18 and one almost 18 and they were very scared too....we got thru it....and it WAS hard.
Its been about 10 years for me....still when there is a certain thing I can not do....or someone else can't do for me...and I think of my "past" life...I know that person could have done it for me.
BUT...my life has been better...it was a bad relationship...it sounds like this is the best for you and your children....so....keep going.
Charlotte_rose Misssy2
Posted
Thank you misssy. I am an expert at colouring now. And I'm trying to get into tv shows etc. It's just hard to switch my brain off. I'm trying to set things up so u have things to look forward to. I'm not sure if this is depression or not. And u know people go through this everyday. I think maybe one day at a time.
Misssy2 Charlotte_rose
Posted
Your welcome..you don't have a choice really..so the easier you make it on yourself (which I know is hard)....the better...and the better for your children.
wayne1962 Charlotte_rose
Posted
Hi Charlotte, sorry to read of your situation. Like some here have said, time is the great healer. Frankly, he sounds like a real turd to have walked out on you and the kids just like that for another woman. It will be interesting to see if that works out. If it doesn't, and he comes back begging for another chance, slam the door in his face. If he does it once, he will do it again.
The important thing here is the kids, they will need their mum and a solid routine. You are going to feel rotten for a while, but it will get better. You must take care of your health and maintain your circle of friends. They will be invaluable to you. There will be moments of heart-wrenching grief, especially when reminders of what was come out of the blue. That pain will pass and soon you will be able to reflect on the whole trauma with a clearer mind. Be kind to yourself. Best of luck to you and your future.