I'm not depressed, I just don't have a will to live.

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I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go through the process of life. If life was described as a rollercoaster, I'd be described as the person uninterested in riding it. It's not the lows that get me or anything of that sort. But life is honestly such a chore. For what? Seems like a large waste of effort

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  • Posted

    Asdfg 

    I always feel we are living as part of a holiday experience, from a different World.

    The first part of life we are born, our life experiences are from our past say 1940 ? We dies, did a life review and discussed what we had learned from that life, any errors we are returned to go back through the error again and do right by it in that new time period. We are also sent back to learn new tasks that pushes us down a line of discovery, Our new life. So our new family should try and teach us the rules of life. Then later we meet a mate and learn through to our death where we go through that revue once more. What gets me about this is I hope not to go through all my disabilities again. Although my disability may be the task I have been returned to this World to learn from it

    If life is a game some say we are all part of a computer program, we need to experience many things and be understanding of other travellers needs.

    Consider the fact you asked for this life to learn tasks, You need to enjoy these lessons by the day, Keep past memories, You will be asked questions when this life is over.

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the insight. I don't share your view on this although I do see where you come from. I have no interest in the process, whether it is joy or sadness. I just dont feel like joy is a good motivator for me, nor is fear.

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  • Posted

    I felt the exact same as you, and still do.

    The best thing to do is to find something you enjoy, and distract the thoughts of knowing how we are all going to end up dying.

    If you’re religious, then that helps too. If not, then you just need to try to focus on the positives of life.

    From my best guess, it just sounds like you haven’t got anything that you enjoy. What are your hobbies? Is your work taking up most your time? Relationships? Family?

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    • Posted

      I'm not religious. I do enjoy doing things, badminton, video games, etc. and distractions are nice. I have a fantastic group of friends and family that care for me and only want the best for me. I enjoy their company. I have a girlfriend who is currently away studying. It's difficult but I love her. I don't have hobbies per say, nothing I love doing deeply. Currently studying. But the problem isn't not having fun, I do, but fun isn't much of a motivator for me. It's just that doing things that are fun or not is such a chore, the process. For temporary feelings and solutions

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  • Posted

    It’s so difficult when you start feeling anything about anything… The news, weather and sports sometimes when I’m in a restaurant everybody’s getting so into watching these sports on big TV’s  I just don’t understand the passion. I feel like I don’t have a passion for anything or I did feel that way. I had a horrible disease that was extremely painful. So there was nothing really I could do but I still tried to play tennis and golf. One of the hardest things I had to do but I started actually love it even with this disease. Then the disease one away on its own, it was a healing  from God And now I can’t understand people not being interested in golf and tennis when it’s on the TV.

    I felt like with no interest in anything at all why not just let go of this life I know there’s a better one out there I’m just not sure if I’m gonna go there if I take my own life. My best friend took her life and she was in ICU for 14 days he was considered dead  I felt like with no interest in anything wrong why not just let go of this life I know there’s a better one out there I’m just not sure if I’m gonna go there if I take my own life. My best friend took her life and she was in ICU for 14 days he was considered dead for five minutes For five minutes but was up and down up and down… When she got out of there told me she went to hell week she died...I said what? She said yeah we’re all in Rows and had her own bunkbeds  if you look down you couldn’t even see the bottom of the rows Same thing when you looked up and there will be such screaming and screeching of people in pain what would’ve happened or for Christians be set on fire and then had some calm relief from the pain and came back and she was set on fire again over and over and over she had this revelation for sometime everybody has their own personal experience if they try and commit suicide

    I just remembered right now what got me out of the funk I’m not caring about anything… I started believing in a God and I started watching the show love you anymore like any stranger I could to bring me out of myself 

    I volunteered again tried to be loving to people less fortunate than me. I’m not saying that actually did it but it was a combination of want I volunteered again tried to be as loving people less fortunate than me. I’m not saying that actually did it but it was a combination of one the  desire to be nice and kind to people. But there again for me that came from a relationship with God you probably have to start to have this attitude 

     I know where kind of where you’re at.

     Maybe you think of depression more as people who live inside their houses and curry closes with heavy hearts medicate themselves etc. but there’s a type of depression that comes in a different way and that is the loss of any type of desire to experience anything in life again that’s a different type of depression… I had it for two years when I was 16 and when I was 24 I finally got on an  anti-depressant  that was helped tremendously. You might just want consider this give it your all before you like go! !!!

     Because I care, 

    Prodigious 

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    • Posted

      Thank you for telling me your story. Its nice to know im not alone in this, but i'm sorry you had to suffer what im going through, really sucks. Maybe i do need religion. But i think i'm inherently too cynical for that. I will be seeing a university counselor tomorrow and i guess i'll see how that goes. Maybe eventually try medication. Anything to make it easier at this point would be great 

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  • Posted

    Hey, why are you not interested in your life....can you please explain the things you are gone through with...spend your time with your family, friends and visit some interesting places with the person very close to you. Life is beautiful so enjoy its every moment try to catch its positive moments instead of negative ones..always stay happy and cherished smile
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    • Posted

      You know how ultimately you do what you do because you see some value in the activity right? like deriving joy or happiness from your family, or earning money to own something you want, etc. I just dont see the value in the process of life. I cant see whats so great about it. I have fun, I love fully, I've experienced things, not all but some, but i just cant find anything worth living for. Right now i try to live for my girlfriend. But shes so far away it's hard to use that as a motivator. And my grades are suffering and my life is suffering because of the lack of motivation

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  • Posted

    Asdfg

    In my life I look for diversions to drag my thoughts away from any type of negative problems.

    In the past I had to do a great deal of study and I would always look forward to some form of reward for a job well done.  You need to be able to reward yourself also look for something you feel would help you lift your mood.

    I am getting on now, and my health is getting worse as I get older, that has never stopped me looking for new experiences and activities. We have a large garden with a thirty tree Orchard that keeps us busy. Also my Wife is interested in redesigning parts of the ornamental garden and is always adding new plants.

    Also we are keen historians and are Life Members of English Heritage and National Trust, where we have split interests, the gardens and Georgian furniture. We love going around castles and houses. The interest there is many places we visit are located out deep in the countryside.

    In life we need to allow ourselves rewards, you way enjoy fishing, gold or football, whatever rings your Bells.

    We have built up a Library over the last forty years, that helps us with memories of places we have been and things we want to try, we also get pleasure looking up places where we have not been. That helps us anticipate visiting somewhere.

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for writing this out for me. It really makes me so happy to see that your life with your wife is happy and fulfilling. I would love to have an opportunity to see a collection of that magnitude! 40 years of experiences and memories, must be amazing. But i feel like my problem is not that i need rewards to get me through the day, but i dont find rewards very.. rewarding. 

      I know anyone older than me would say i havent seen it all and if I quit now I may be losing out on finding something so meaningful that it would convince me to stay. But that process of figuring it out, essentially life, is so.. tiring and repetitive and so uninteresting.

      That part of it is whats wearing me down. No rewards or anything can change that, at least thats how I've been feeling for the last 5 years.

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    • Posted

      Asdfg

      Most of our hobbies ar repetitive when visiting various places, In the early days we were Centre Members with the National Trust and we go for lectures and visits to places all over nearby Counties

      We have just returned from visiting sites in Yorkshire that we had seen forty years ago

      Personally I can admit some of my activities can be boring although given time and patience we develop ways to make things more interesting, yes we do get tired although in a way that is good we sleep well

      BOB

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