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I'm not sure what to do

Posted , 4 users are following.

kelsey14920
kelsey14920

I really just want to feel healthy and happy again, like when I was little. Maybe it's just that I've been through things.. at least I think I have, but maybe I just think it was more extreme than it really was. For the last few years I just haven't ever really felt satisfied anymore. I want to wake up in the morning and be happy and content and not dragging and down and stressed. I try really hard to look good and smile for everyone, but I feel like I'm not giving enough or something. When I already feel this way, and I do something wrong, or I mess something up- especially work or school- It bothers me so much for days! I get really upset about it and I try really hard to make up for it, but sometimes you just can't fix things, and you either have to try to forget about it or just.. live with it. I don't really feel that I have things in common with my friends anymore, and I can't really talk to them, so I suppose that's why I'm writing this right now. I don't take any medicine right now, so it can't be anything related to that. I take multi-vitimins, because I read that sometimes you can be sad if you're body is lacking a particular vitimin. I feel good knowing I'm doing extra to be healthy, but I still feel the same inside. I used to think maybe the weather would bring me down, like rainy days or dark days would sort of dampen my mood, but even on sunny days, especialy sunny days, if I don't have any plans, or I'm inside, I just feel so sad and I feel like I can't leave my house. I want to be around people so badly, but I'm afraid to. I'm just deeply uncomfortable in my skin. I don't know why I'm like this, I don't understand why at all. It's really frustrating because it seems so silly, like if you want to leave your house and be around people - then just do it.. right? I should.. I just can't get myself to.. I don't want the neighbors to see me or say something to me and I don't want to be messed with.. but I want to be outside and not alone, and I don't want to feel like I have to care about what other people think, strangers or the people I know. Sometimes my mom feels like this too, where she feels like she can't leave the house, and she's sad. She says that it's just pms or it's just mood swings or moodiness because of where you are on your menstural cycle.. Maybe it is, but even so, I don't want to live like this, I don't want to be miserable or sad or lonely or not confident enough to leave the house anymore. I'm 19 years old. I can't be like this. I haven't thought of going to a doctor until recently, but I don't want my mom to say I'm overreacting. She doesn't think that a doctor will do anything except prescribe medications and there will be side affects. I agree with her, I don't want to just rely on medicine.. but if i could take something for a short while to get better, or change something that I'm doing wrong.. I just don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm pretty healthy. i go to sleep at a reasonable time at night. I eat healthy.. just.. I think I need some help. Where should I start? 

3 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • New85
    New85 kelsey14920

    Posted

    Hi Kelsey, this definitely sounds like more than just pms. It's great you recognise you need some help and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's also nothing to be ashamed of if you do feel you need some medication to help you get through it. But I would recommend perhaps trying other things first, as its a relatively new thing you may be able to nip it in the bud before it gets too bad without drugs. A good doctor should not just suggest medication, if you don't feel you want to go down that route they will have other suggestions such as CBT classes and lifestyle changes. It's worth going to see what's availiable in your area. Also this website is great to get involved in just to know there are others out there feeling the same. That in itself has helped me feel better in some ways. You've already taken the first step in recognising it's effecting your life and posting on here. Good luck!
  • AIDT
    AIDT kelsey14920

    Posted

    In your case, counseling will be very helpful, Also do meditation and yoga regulary and think just positive. You will feel changes yourself soon..
  • arwen1972
    arwen1972 kelsey14920

    Posted

    There is no shame in taking medication if you need help. However, a doctor who knows their stuff will not just suggest medication. There are so many therapies out there - counselling, mindfulness, CBT just to mention a few. I think you definitely do need to see a doctor. Does your mum have to know?
  • christophe68949
    christophe68949 kelsey14920

    Posted

    Im upset to read this because you are so young and it mirrors alot of my experience. Im in my early 30s and I now have such a busy social life that I have to often kindly turn down requests to meet friends but I was in your situation and my 20s were very lonely years where i basically cared for an ill relative until they died. im making up for lost 20s now. The clue is that you will meet people when you start to connect with strangers and then by befriending them you will access their social circle and so on. It is not easy if you think you are shy person and afraid of rejection. Dont be. You seem like a pleasant person. I had a brilliant year which was better than the past ten years. i met the most perfect partner through my work, abandoned all my ego and literally kidnapped her. It worked and now i have also a best friend and full circle of friends that keep increasing. It was the courage to initiate connections with people I found interesting to me and shared chemistry. I went from isolated and shy to full social life abd far less shy but it takes effort on your part to show people you want a deeper connection as many people also are shy and afraid of new experience. I can talk to anyone. And if they dont react positively - shrug shoulders and Just move on to the other billions of souls out there. X
  • Mo77
    Mo77 kelsey14920

    Posted

    Hi Kelsey, do you have trouble opening up to people, telling them what your day was like or what you thought about some tv-show or anything 'minor' like that? Even if you don't, your story reads a lot like mine. I'm 22 now, and I'm starting to build a circle of friends and do fun stuff again, but it's hard. 

    Your doctor shouldn't prescribe medication right away, and you have all the right in the world to refuse if he tries to. Relying on medicine alone is a bad thing indeed. I only got medication after years of therapy (counseling), and only because I knew I had done everything I could to learn to cope and heal and found that I really deserved a little helping hand after all the effort I've put into making myself feel better. Go to the doctor, ask for therapy/counseling. It'll help you tremendously.

    About your mother, well, it does not sound like PMS or mood swings. Try not to take your mother as an example of how to deal with your issues, it's a dangerous thing to do for your own health - though I know it's very hard not to. And remember that your health and your life goes first, even if your mother says you're overreacting. None of us think you are overreacting.

    You're making the right judgement, go for it! x

  • kelsey14920
    kelsey14920

    Posted

    Thank you so much everyone for your support, you really have no idea how much it means to me.. I'm going to look in to counseling and I'll try yoga I'll try everything! thank you, I hope the best for all of you too
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