I'm ruining my life...

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For the past few months I have had multiple problems which is ruining my life. Following a very painful breakup, I attempted suicide, despite not normally having the characteristics of someone who is depressed. Although it has been a few months now, multiple problems have started to affect my life. Ever since my suicide attempt and moving away to somewhere where I don't know anyone, it's been difficult. I believe I have developed depression and social anxiety order as I struggle to even leave the house, meet anyone, and I have panic attacks in public places. I always feel down and contemplate suicide regularly. I have turned to alcohol; and I have been drinking a lot more than I ever would have previously. I can become extremely aggressive when I drink and I often have blackouts where I remember nothing the next day. Not only do I think i'm an alcoholic, i also smoke weed quite a lot (although I have managed to reduce the consumption recently). I am pushing away my family and friends, and am ruining the new relationship I started a couple of months ago because of all this. I really want to give up but I do not have a very strong will power. My dad was an alcoholic who unfortunately passed away because of his problems, I do not want to end up dead or alone. Someone please help, I want to change

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  • Posted

    Katie,

    You need a medical detox. When you admit yourself in they'll give you ALL the meds, counseling and connections you need to overcome whatever it is that is blocking your ability to take care of yourself. You'll be off to the races 😉

    Step 1. Admission of your problem.

    Step 2. Admit yourself, of your own volition (!!!!) in a detox program ; you can do this at any hospital front desk WITHOUT an appointment, and this can be critical information for you because you'll need to be able to just jump on it when you're ready.

    They'll direct you the whole way. I did this so easily one morning I knew I needed it so I just went, said to some woman behind the counter in a room FULL OF PEOPLE, "I'm an alcoholic and I need help."

    She didn't judge me, picked up her hospital phone and made an internal call.

    That was that. I'm on my personal journey now and it'll stick when it sticks. Everybody's different but you make the move when you're ready, you do the soul searching and you learn to hug yourself and pat yourself on the back everyday.

    Happy you're here!🎉

    One step at a time Katie.

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your help, I appreciate the advice. I've just been on a downward spiral for a while now, I'm glad you're getting better. Just want to change and get my old life back, I aspire to finish university but at this rate I can't. it's time for a change for the better, thanks smile
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  • Posted

    Hi Katie , seems like you have alot of issues going on - you should really seek some professional advice, perhaps start with your GP who may be able to recomend an experienced counsellor to talk to - we all need help, now and again. if you are suffering from depression the alcohol wont help, it is a depressant so it will only make your mood lower- if you are suffering black outs, you need to address this- have you tried cutting it out before ? if you have been drinking daily and heavily it may not be a good idea to stop all of a sudden- again perhaps you could talk to your GP. if you dont want to talk to anyone and just want to stop- i can tell you whats in store for you - i'm a recovering alcoholic- i have been de-toxed many times,i'm a slow learner- thankfully i dont drink anymore- let me know if i can be of any help to you- but please think about talking to your DR or another professional- by the way, you are never alone in addiction, there are loads of us lurking about- keep reaching out and posting here - you will get nothing but support and help with no judgement - all the best -
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    • Posted

      I do not drink daily and initially this is why I was in denial about my alcoholism, but I do binge when I do drink and that can be 2-3 times a week which is really unhealthy... Will definitely get in touch with my GP, glad you're making a recovery and thank you for your comment smile

       

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  • Posted

    Hi Katie, sorry to hear of everything that's going on in your life but I'm pleased you're looking for ways to resolve things, that's a good sign and a step in the right direction :-)

    I agree with pmcg, this is not just a simple case of dealing with the alcohol, your GP is probably your best port of call and you can lay everything out on the table and hopefully agree a way forward that works for you.

    there's plenty of things you can do to stop the alcohol and that will help with willpower but, with everything you're having to contend with, you'd probably benefit from an integrated approach....

    good luck :-)  

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    • Posted

      Totally agree too, was very hard to admit I had a problem but I could see how much it was hurting my family, especially my mum. Alcohol is definitely the tip of the iceberg and there are many underlying problems. Thank you for your comment smile
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