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So I finished school in 2006.. I did a few short courses here and there not because I wanted to but to keep my parents off my back and get student allowance. After that to continue receiving payments I had to attend for job seeker thing and they actually helped me find a job. My consultant had a wife who worked in an accounting firm and they were desperate for a junior secretary so he helped me get it. I did pretty bad in the interview but because they were so desperate and because I was hooked up I got it! I stayed there for a year.. I hated it so much but forced myself for the experience. After that I did some more silly courses to receive the payments and keep my parents quiet. Then I got a weekend job in a restaurant (didn't even need a resume) and then I went to uni.. Couldn't handle uni so I quit and worked in a bar for 2.5 years..... Then it started giving me extreme anxiety so I quit. It's been about 7 months now. Iv been unemployed and pretending to look for work so I keep getting my benefits.
I have this extreme fear of writing my resume
I don't know what kind of jobs to look for because I have no idea what I want to do
I don't even know how to look for jobs
Everytime I try and read a job add I think no way I'm not good enough
Then there's the fear of the phone interview which I know I will screw up and IF I somehow got to the next round.. A face to face interview I absolutely know I wouldn't get it
I'm mortified. Iv been mortified for years and years. It's so bad... I have to lie to everyone about what I'm doing. I still pretend I'm at uni and at the restaurant. I even lie to my boyfriend of 7 years!
My parents keep asking me when I'm going to find s job
I struggle to pay for my phone bill, servicing my car, buying groceries and just buying what I want
I'm so ashamed and so ridiculously stressed..
I just don't see what I have to offer any employer or any business.. Nothing at all
I can't even put down my skills on my resume because I feel like I have none
I'm too anxious and depressed to even function and then I'm supposed to go to an interview and trick an employer into hiring me?
I feel like I just have no education.... I feel dumb and worthless and useless...
I'm 26 now and it's just getting harder and harder... If been procrastinating for 9 years!
The thought of writing a resume makes me sick.. Everything I write seems like a 14 year old wrote it. It's ridiculous
Does anyone else have this fear? I don't think so....
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