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I have been seeing the eating disorder services for 12 weeks now as I was classed as having Anorexia. I have now put on a lot of weight and am just below healthy weight but recently the grip my ED has on me has got much tighter.
I know I won't be classed as anorexic anymore, but I just don't want to get better. I feel so fat, especially after christmas and incredibly alone.
I want to lose at least a stone and don't care where that puts me medically. I also really want to go inpatient. I don't know why other than it seems like the only way to escape life for a while without giving up my job and other things I love. I know I'm way too fat to go inpatient but I just want to be looked after.
I don't know how to help myself, sorry for wasting your time.
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