I'm scared that I probably contracted the deadly disease

Posted , 5 users are following.

 This scares me. It all started almost 5 years ago. She visited me, we had sex about three times before she went back the next day. First time was with a condom. The next two without. Then, we maintained communication, but didn't plan out sex again till about 2 years later.

We planned out and rented a hotel room and had two fairly long sessions..., without protection. Then months down the line, it happened another night, and it was without protection. Now, the meeting that we planned out after almost 2 years that we didn't have sex, I had swollen and inflamed lymph nodes on my neck about 2 months after sex with her, which cleared out after about a couple days later. Then I had no weird symptoms until a year and a half later when I had what felt like the flu and fever without high temperature. It lasted about a week, and it came with bad cough and swollen submandibular lymph nodes from left chin to right chin. It all cleared out after almost a week.

I never talked with this girl ever since until few months ago that she called and told me that she'd been sick for a little more than 3 months. According to her, all the tests run on her produced no result and that she was getting frustrated. She'd lost some weight, which is expected for pretty long illness. She shared her pictures with me and still did not want to meet with me face to face when I told her that I would like to have a face to face meeting to actually know how she was doing.

She said she was always tired and that her muscles and bones hurt so bad. Then, she started avoiding my calls and seems to have had me on call block for about 2 months now. She wanted also to know how my girlfriend was doing " physically." That scared me, and I've been really scared all this while.

I've made Google my friend and read a lot of scary things. So, I'm worried that I might have contracted HIV from her. I'm also too scared to go for a lab test. I just don't know what would become of me if my fear became confirmed. My real girlfriend has not had any swollen lymph nodes. Her eyes itched so bad for weeks on end and got really red to where I'm worried even more. Just don't know what to do.

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Regarding your symtoms, it could have just been a common cold caused by a virus. I personally don’t see the correlation. 

     I don’t see how you come to a conclusion here that she had HIV from this story, unless there is something that you are not sharing. But let’s say she did, I have read that you have less than a 1% chance of contracting it from a single sexual occurance.

    Anyway, if you are really concerned then you need to go take a test.... it’s the only way to know and maybe it will clear your anxiety. It’s also fair to your current partner in my opinion. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Steven. Thank you for the reply and your encouraging words; you have no idea therapeutic your contribution is for me. But I want you to bear in mind that I would not intentionally conceal or skip any vital information in this terrible experience of mine. Although I did my possible best to bring in every detail into my narrative, it is still possible that I skipped something that might not necessarily be any more helpful than what I have presented so far.

      I did mention that she shared pictures of her current state with me, which I attribute two possible reasons to: she either believed that the pictures would give me a better understanding of the severity of her illness or that she was silently communicating to me to use my intuition to know that she had the disease and that I might in fact have been exposed to it. She shared several pictures on different days, which kinda gave me the impression that she was genuinely honest about her picture shares.

      Another thing is that she felt emotionally distressed by my intense curiosity and would tell me to tone down the questions; I cooperated with her and gave her a little space, though I would occasionally send a message to her to know how she was fairing. In one of the chat sessions I had with her, I asked if she ever had any lymph node swelling ever since the illness started; she said, "Not really." I got a big disturbed by her answer because it didn't come out as a definite no, which could have meant that she had a swelling at some point. I've been pondering through all this, which heightens my fears. But again, I can't help thinking that she filtered me off her allowed call list just to keep me from firing a barrage of questions at her. So, as much as I would appreciate all my concerns addressed by her, I had to be a little more understanding and keep my distance. That's the situation at the moment.

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    • Posted

      The only way you will know about your status is if you test. It will provide you peace of mind and end your anxiety over this. You can muster up the courage to do this.

      Again, the odds are low as I noted above. Further, she may have had some other things going on healthwise (who knows, cancer) and been put off by your active questioning as she felt that you were accusing her of something. Just my thoughts after reading this. Don't assume the worst and your symptoms certainly just sound like a common cold. There are 100s of viruses which could cause what you described above.

      Good luck David.

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    • Posted

      Hi Steve. Than you so much for your replies, honest inputs, and suggestions; I have never felt so uplifted before. I will plan out a test and I pray that it be a desirable outcome. I so much appreciate you.
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  • Posted

    Hi, don't jump to hiv concern, we don't know if she has it or not. The symptoms say nothing, hiv never diagnosed based on symptoms.

    So calm down and go for a test to peace your mind.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for the reply Aahmad. I've been freaking out about the thought of having it, and it depresses me so much. However, you reply has provided me big relief. I'll work on the fear and muster the courage to submit to a test someday.

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  • Posted

    I went through a very similar situation a couple of years ago, I had exactly the same symptoms you have after unprotected sex with a girl a few times, my anxiety was really bad, I was having panic attacks and nightmares every day and lost a lot of weight, I used Google, just as you did to self diagnose, my life was miserable for a while until I finally made the decision to get tested, when I heard the results it was like they gave me my life back, I felt so relieved, all my symptoms were caused by my anxiety which can debilitate your immune system, our brain is very powerful and can actually make you sick. Don't panic and go get tested, the chances of being something serious are very low. Take care!

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    • Posted

      Hi Will. You are so kind, and your words are like a highly potent medication. Thank you immensely. You are absolutely right about the brain; it has the power to manipulate our paralyzing fears into becoming a reality. I notice that when one gets so nervously concerned that one might, for instance, be embarrassed by bodily noises or functions in public or a room full of people, before long one might eventually lose control of one's unconscious control of the body and eventually be embarrassed by noisy stomach growling or accidental flatus. These fears actually turn into reality until we rid our system of the fear command. I will get the courage someday to go for a test; my life would be renewed if the results ever turned out negative.

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  • Posted

    Dear David , 

    I am sorry for what you suffered from your post. Mainly mentally but not very serious on physically. 

    From your post, personally I don’t think it is link with HIV as the symptoms is very normal and we really couldn’t only rely on the symptoms to decide if it is HIV or not. 

    So, let’s talk about your behavior, truly, unprotected sex is a risk. But to see the odd, if the girl comes from a high- income country which means the medical services is more improved than a low-income country, talking about the odds, for an individual male get infection by female is 0.04 if the girl comes from a high-income countriy and 0.38 if the girl comes from a low-income country. So the possibility you get infection is not high. 

    As the other people commented here. The best way to clam down and move on to your normal life is go to have a test. With an P24 antigen and antibody test, the window required 28 days after exposure. So it is a good time for you to get a test. Good luck buddy.

    One more thing, except HIV, i suggerst to have a full-screen stds test as some of the stds such as syphilis is more easy to pass.

    All in all, stop googling your symptoms as Dr. Google like to scare people. The best way is go to check. 

    Do not worry, we are here for helping if anything i can do, or even just chatting, hit me up.

    Good luck and Best wishes,

    Hugo

     

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    • Posted

      Good day Hugo. I'm so, so pleased to read such a very warm and thoughtful message from you! There no doubt that you have a heart of gold, and you have no idea just how therapeutic your message is to me.

      You're absolutely right in all you've said. I have firmly resolved to NEVER engage in unprotected sex; it's just too risky. Besides, it robs one of peace of mind.

      Also, I'll try my best to stay away from Dr. Google. Reading up stuff such as this on that search engine would only do nothing but make am already bad situation far worse than it is. I'll definitely not hesitate to chime in to you. Thank you again so much, my brother. Stay blessed!

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