I dont know what to I know I am depressed but Im telling you I cant go to the doctors and say I am please dont tell me to do that and I cant talk to someone about this its just not me. I mean I really cant!!
Im 20 years old I support myself and my mum I have been stripping for 3 years now and other things too just to provide for me and her no one else helps me. Only now i have realised how bad i have messed up my life and now my past seems to just haunt me and it will never go away i have slowed down on the drinking and taking drugs now but my depression is severe I just want to sleep all day I have so many issues and problems that no one know about and I have seemed to lost all my friends now. I have such anxiety I cant do the basic of things like talk to people properly go to the shops etc etc the only reason i could is with the drinking. I cant get a normal job because i have no confidence and even if i did it wouldnt be enough to pay all of the rent and bills myself. I feel so trapped and sometimes I blame my mum because no one at all helps me and i have had to do such things just to get by and know one knows. We cant even get benefits because my mum is in arrears with the council and now its got worse i told her ill pay it and she said no and she keeps running awayfrom her problems and now she relys on me so much but she hs no idea what i do.
Please i just dont know what to do anymore i just feel sick with myself all the time i just want this feeling to go away and forget my past but please dont tell me to talk to someone or go to the doctors because i phycially cant is there no way there are non prescription drugs that can help! please just for now