I'm so depressed I don't even know what to do
Posted , 18 users are following.
I dont know what to I know I am depressed but Im telling you I cant go to the doctors and say I am please dont tell me to do that and I cant talk to someone about this its just not me. I mean I really cant!!
Im 20 years old I support myself and my mum I have been stripping for 3 years now and other things too just to provide for me and her no one else helps me. Only now i have realised how bad i have messed up my life and now my past seems to just haunt me and it will never go away i have slowed down on the drinking and taking drugs now but my depression is severe I just want to sleep all day I have so many issues and problems that no one know about and I have seemed to lost all my friends now. I have such anxiety I cant do the basic of things like talk to people properly go to the shops etc etc the only reason i could is with the drinking. I cant get a normal job because i have no confidence and even if i did it wouldnt be enough to pay all of the rent and bills myself. I feel so trapped and sometimes I blame my mum because no one at all helps me and i have had to do such things just to get by and know one knows. We cant even get benefits because my mum is in arrears with the council and now its got worse i told her ill pay it and she said no and she keeps running awayfrom her problems and now she relys on me so much but she hs no idea what i do.
Please i just dont know what to do anymore i just feel sick with myself all the time i just want this feeling to go away and forget my past but please dont tell me to talk to someone or go to the doctors because i phycially cant is there no way there are non prescription drugs that can help! please just for now
thanks
2 likes, 19 replies
PatchyPatchCat lolamun
Posted
My parents got divorced and I was 8 when it happened and now I am 11. I try and find things to distract me but it is just ongoing depression and my cat is the only thing that brings me happiness. I need help and I just don't know what to do. I've tried talking to a therapist but that just made it worse. My parents have me switch off between houses and it's just overwhelming and I don't know what to do. I am also going into middle school and I lost my house and had to move in with my grand parents and I have no space anymore. My mom is having to get like three jobs and my dad lost his job. My grandma that I don't live with has cancer. Pls give me some advice.
debs52 PatchyPatchCat
Posted
Hey PatchyPatchCat,
I don't know you but your post makes me sad. It's always easy to give advice but I don't know your whole situation so I will do my best.
I am 52 but I know that divorce is very upsetting to young people people I was young also when my parents divorced. My children were young when I got a divorce and my grandson had to go through the same thing. It broke my heart for my children and grandson to go through that as I'm sure it breaks your mom and dad's hearts.
Sometimes adults grow away from each other and it is impossible for them to live together.
That doesn't mean that your parents don't still love you or want the best for you. I'm sure they love you more than ever.
Sometimes it is better for us to talk to an adult that does not live with us or that is not family just so we can get things off our chest. It is not good to hold things in like that for long periods of a time. So maybe you should try your therapist again or a counselor at school or a church member so they can help you feel better. They can't help if you don't tell them how you feel inside.
You mention you are having to go back and forth to moms (grandma's) and dad's. That makes you lucky because you have 2 homes to go to and 2 families to love you. Try not to be upset about that that can be a good thing if you don't fight it.
I am so sorry about your grandma with cancer hopefully she will get better.
I hope this does not sound like I am fussing at you or lecturing you. It is not meant that way at all if it does.
I want to help make you feel better so this is just advice that I would give my own in a sympathetic voice.
One more thing and again I'm not fussing but at the bottom of this forum you can click on "Start your own discussion" if you could copy what you wrote above and then click on that link then paste it there you might get more and better advice than I'm able to give you.
God bless and have a great night.
debs52 lolamun
Posted
Dear Lolamun,
I don't know if your still seaking help or not as the last thing posted to you was a year ago. I wanted to throw a few suggestions your way just in case.
The herbal remedies that someone else suggested up above do help if you take them like the bottles say and don't give up on them or overdose on them.
You could get a government grant to go back to school and so could your mom. This would help in the meantime to help pay your bills and then help you find a better job that you are more interested in and also would help your mom find a job.
You could also start looking for a church that you would feel comfortable in that way you would have church friends and people that would help you with sincerety in their hearts.
If your not one that can make yourself do something because you know you need to or you just need unbiased opinions then you should seek professional help to get you started in that direction. Yeah I know you said you didn't want to here that but sometimes we don't have any other options.
You might could also look online for all the available help resources for shelter, food and utilities in your community.
There might be some alcoholic anonymous classes that you could go to. They are suppose to be secretive and give lots of help.
Sounds like your mom might need professional help also but I wouldn't suggest that because I don't know your whole situation.
One more thing that might sound lame but you could check into the tiny house movement or/van dwelling online for your community. That could solve housing problems.
Ok so I'll hush now. I just hope your okay. Wish I could be there to help you but I can't but God can.
Have a blessed day and sending prayers your way.
roko lolamun
Posted
Hi lolamun,
I read your post only today. I hope you have got your life on track by now. If not don't worry I will help you in get yourself to love you for yourself. First of all, take breathe easy and relax and have faith in yourself. If you don't want to go to a health professional it is fine!. You take care of yourself and your mother, so you are strong enough to change your life to the good! Now, make a firm resolution right now at this moment to stop smoking, drinking, stripping and all the other things that lead you to being unhappy and don't ever break this resolution. Stay sober. Take up an job which pays you just enough to take care of you and your mother and most importantly which helps you to make yourself progress towards a normal life with positivity. Start small and eventually you will be the most positive person ever. Help people who are in need , like the homeless people and orphanage and old age homes. I'm sure you will get your life on track and I'm sure to see you replying to this post of yours with all the positivity that you will achieve!