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I have was on here a few months ago and provided a list of my medical history, symptoms, and tests. ( Link to the post if curious to read- https://patient.info/forums/discuss/one-doc-says-i-have-fibro-another-says-fibro-isn-t-real-i-m-at-my-whits-end--450430 )
However, I am tired of hurting. I am to the point I just dont care anymore. If I were seriously injured, I would tell my family to just let me die bc I dont want to deal with the daily pains anymore. I can't take it. It's taking a mental toll on me.
I am a 33/M. I have been an athlete my whole life. No doctor ever finds anything. They say it's anxiety, but my anxiety comes from the terrible various pains that I battle daily that doctors never find an answer for. How can I treat it if all they ever say is my tests are normal that it must be in my head. I HURT. That's not normal. I want answers. I want resolution.
Here's my most recent battles....
- (3 months ago) Terrible headaches and neck pain. Had an MRI. Everything was normal, so doctor did nothing.
- (2 months ago) Light Headed, faint, sudden loss of energy. I battle this EVERYday. Sometimes it lasts more than others. At some point during the day I feel like I am going to pass out. My energy level drops and I feel weak. When this happens I usually notice that I am only able to breathe out of 1 nostril. My right nostril often closes throughout the course of the day for some reason. I do notice it to be worse when I am just sitting around on the weekends.
- (Within past 4/5 weeks) I had severe sharp pains in my lower left back and side. Also developed hemmroids for the first time ever. The pain was so bad it had me hunched over in the floor. I went to a gastro who did x-rays to see if I was "backed up". They came back normal as usual. I battled pains throughout the day in various parts of my stomach for the next couple of weeks. One day they would be on front right, just below ribcage. Later they would be in my side or lower back. Eventually they just sort of went away.
- (Within past week) I started have sharp needle like pains in my upper back, around and under shoulder blades, and around ribcage and into chest, Even laying down is uncomfortable. I went to chiro to hope for relief. Can't say it helped a lot. I took a hot bath to try and relax my muscles but by the time I got out, I was so nauseous that I had to lay down.
- (Today) My back pain as all but vanished at the moment. However, I am still sick at my stomach. Short burst of pain come and go all throughout my upper body and stomach/abdominal area. I am light headed and feel like I need to lay down and rest. I feel sick, but more frustrated than anything.
Every day is a new adventure or mystery. I almost dread getting going bc I almost wonder, "Well I wonder what is going to hurt today?" EVERY SINGLE DAY I hurt. Whether it's my back, my stomach, my chest, my head, my neck, my shoulder, etc. Whether it lasts a few few minutes or I battle it throughout the day. It makes me miserable. Yes I have anxiety, but it's all bc of this and I am sick of it. I just dont want to hurt any more. I know the pain is real. Yet after years of dealing with off and on pain in different place every few days then switching to another, I still have no answers. There is no hope for things getting any better. No doctors help me or even seem to care. I don't even know who to see anymore to help me.
I do not want to be light headed and feel like I am going to passout every day. I am tired of my muscles always hurting throughout my upper body (Some doctors say it's not fibro bc I dont have the trigger points all over or in my lower body at all). I am tired of eating and getting nausous half way through the meal. I am tired of going places and suddenly feeling sick and wanting to go home to lay down. I am probably the MOST tired of waking up every morning afraid of what pains and illnesses the day has in store for me.
I have anxiety about taking the anxiety medications they have given me. Ironic right? (Amitripaline and Cymbalta) Reading the side effects make me hesitant. At the first sign of one I quit the medicine altogether.
I don't know what to do. This is driving me into depression and I just dont want to deal with it anymore. This seems hopeless and I don't know where to turn or what to do. Sorry to rant, but it at least feels a little better to just get it out in here, in hopes someone will read it and either take something from this to help themselves, or can give me some advice to help.
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