I'm tired of being tired.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I don't know where to start... I guess from the beginning although not sure that was the beginning. About 10 years ago I was prescribed a very low dose of anti-depressants which I stayed on for a long long time. During those years, I had two kids and suffered from post-partum however; my medication was never modified. I've been married for 8 years and unhappy for about 7. Im co-dépendant and have been single for about 30 days in the last 20 years. I stay in relationships years after I figure out it won't work to avoid being alone. This relationship took longer for me to get to that point but I'm there. In October 2015, I met a guy at work who was also in an unhappy relationship. We both left our spouses and fell HARD for each other. We bought tonight we were the ONE for each other but he had issues with his ex which he was unable to handle in a healthy way so he abandonned me suddenly. Having faked being ok for 7-8 years wasn't going to work anymore. Having my hopes and dreams dashed by this man I thought would be he love of my life was the last straw. I completely crashed and admitted myself to the hospital because i was extremely suicidal and I didn't want to leave my kids without a mom. I was hospitalized for two months while my new doc attempted to stabilize mess and I even had shock treatments. Two months later I returned to work where that guy continued to work. I was stable and it didn't hurt me to see him however he came back in my life and it went from 0-100 in days. Of course, as I should have expected, he became irrational and walked away. Having to work with him is extremely painful and even though we haven't had contact in about a year other than seeing each other, I feel stuck cause I think about him all the time and it hurts. Last night I found out that he is dating my clerk! I was devastated. I am so sad and tired of being sad. I'm to the point that taking my life seems like a good idea. I can't keep feeling bad all the time. I can't keep feeling hopeless and helpless forever. I've given all I've got to try to live a normal life but the major depression and negative feelings are always near. At this point the only reason I don't take my life is my fear that I will survive and have long lasting effects. I feel so lonely and like no one cares that I'm in such a state. People care but really don't understand what goes on in my head. I just want to crawl out of my skin.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Wendy,

    its time for you to just take care of yourself. You don't need a guy to make you feel good, loved or important. Especially the ones you have found. You are important all on your own!

    You need to get some talk therapy with a good therapist and work on making yourself feel better for you.

    Im sorry that you are feeling so low, but please don't hurt yourself. 

    Go to your GP and get a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist and start help you. 

    You are going to be okay.

    You are not alone.

    Take care of you. You are worth it.

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  • Posted

    Is it the fact he left you? Or is it because he is with someone else

    sometimes when people move on and you havnt you try to weigh up what you meant to that person I imagine it was the same for his ex hence the unhealthy statement

    What goes around does come around unfortunately its a case of you took him from someone and someone now has took him from you

    the dilver lining for you means you know the chances are high someone will take him from yourclerk to

    Why ounish yourself is it about the win im not sure I can see why your in pain is it you love him or is it jealousy

    sorry ti be blunt but my ex is the same I think she diesnt want me to move on with my life either she had me arrested the ither day because I met someine and out it on facebook she lied about me I was put in a cell for 38 hours I dont understand her either

    so why in honesty are you upset about it is it love can you love someone that doesnt seen to care ? A chef I once worjed with was so annoyed about his gfreind leaving him he was a real ladies man I was rather young si asked why you bothered you got loads of girls ariund you and he said

    its not the point I hadnt finished with her yet do you see my point is that what it is or is it real love

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    • Posted

      Sorry you didnt like my comment, however it was a question

      I havent made any assumtions or statements

      ill explain the question for you you said and I quote

      Im co-dépendant and have been single for about 30 days in the last 20 years. I stay in relationships years after I figure out it won't work to avoid being alone. 

      In order to advice you properly I needed to know the route of your depression and which element you needed help with the wrong advice wont help you wendy im afraid im very astute and yes I am a caring guy

      as many on this site will tell you ive helped lots of people here

      and laurie thankyou for your comment tell you what you go around filling peoples heads with garbage acting like your very own anti-depressant then whenyou realise you have been treating the wrong problem you can scratch your head perplexed as to why it hasnt worked

      I prefer to find out the route cause ibtaje the time out to find that out that laura is caring

      hope you two are ok and things wirk out for you


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    • Posted

      Ps as for construtive advice wendy maybe read up and as about dbt they will try to palm you off with cbt as its cheaper and goverment funded there is a huge difference in how they work although as you two guys have already decided that in here to upset you

      maybe you could investigate it yours self infact I feel very silly telling you about it but it addresses the thoughts of I cant be alone or do this etc

      my advice is to read about them know the difference then speak to your gp or you could do as laurie has said and go totally unprepared and be palmed off with a half rated solution

      again I hope you get the help you needed and im sorry you couldnt see past the offence you took at my question

      good luck


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  • Posted

    You should definitely see a good therapist who will understand what you are going through and help you. You cannot deal with this alone. Also you have kids to look after. Best leave this man alone. He is not worth it. Involve some nice friends in your life. You can also find another job so you need not meet this man everyday.
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    • Posted

      Good advice anna she should get a new job if its bothering her that much I guess whatvi meant was it didnt seem ti bother her before she saw he was with someone else

      Which to me at least just means jealousy I find narcissism stomache churning

      some people go round always pertraying the victim

      yet wendy confesses ti taking another womans man in the first instance then confesses to have used her husband for 7 years when she knew it wasnt right the victims in my opinion are the inocent parties

      my depression was initially kicked in by a cheat so people will have to forgive my reluctantancy to give wendy a belly rub theses things grind on me

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