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I did something that has really haunted me, I’m uncomfortable to say what but I’ve hated myself for doing it. I did it around 2-3 years ago but my mind has almost blocked it off so I don’t even remember how old i was.
Ever since I did this I’ve just hated my whole existence. I have a great family, good friends, a happy life. Yet I still feel so terrible about what I did and I feel very uncomfortable talking about it.
I used to cry every night because of it. The only person who knows is my Mum, but I don’t want to bring it up because of feeling awkward and thinking about it more.
I feel very disgusted in my body and would love to just leave this world. Not necessarily by suicide, but by something I can’t control- like cancer or to have never existed in the first place. I’m not in danger of killing myself, I feel guilty just thinking about wishing for cancer when it’s somehing so horrible. I know I should go to a therapist or something because of how I’m feeling. But I’m worried it’s not depression and I’m just overreacting and I’m worried I’m wasting somebody’s time, and I’m-helpfully worrying people I love.
I’m really worried as to if I have depression or not and was just wondering what people think. As I’m still a teenager I’m also worried it’s something like teenage hormones or anything like that, that’s just adding to something upsetting me.
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