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I'm very afraid... please someone help me?

Posted , 3 users are following.

Brandy1997
Brandy1997

I feel ''wrong'' all the time and I feel guilt and shame a lot and overthink every conversation with people around me and ALWAYS find something strange... like people are hiding something from me or they only want to hurt me because of something I did that I don't exacly remember and I really should feel guilty about it, because they all can't be wrong... And I even started feeling like I'm being someone I'm actually not (like evil or have some opinions that I don't actually have or something that is truly opposite of me)... All I can say is that I am very afraid of this feeling. Sometimes I'm feeling suicidal because of this and angry and simply scream and cry... I hate being around people because I feel like they are all morally better than me and that I need to punish myself.. I always need to prove others that I'm great human and really do all just to help others and give them love... But all I give to myself is guilt and hate... and suicidal feeling.  I really want to know why I'm feeling like this?! Am I becoming someone I'm not?

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • jodi07858
    jodi07858 Brandy1997

    Posted

    Just know your not alone and please talk to people, so many of us go through this and we each expierce different symptoms, but don't harm yourself. We all got to find our ways to get pass these uncomfortable feelings and thoughts, and we usually do judge ourselves way more than anyone else. Just keep talking to people

    • Brandy1997
      Brandy1997 jodi07858

      Posted

      Thank you, I used to love making friends and talking to people, but in last few years I became more paranoid than before. But I know that avoiding people isn't an answer. Thank you again! <3

    • jodi07858
      jodi07858 Brandy1997

      Posted

      It is hard to be around people and going places can be hard, especially when we worry what others are thinking of us. With saying that if we don't try we won't get better, I feel better being at home and sometimes the thought of having to go somewhere makes me start to panic, but I'm trying really to just tell myself can't get better just keeping away from everyone and everything. This will pass, I went through this a few years ago and it got better for a couple years, would still get anxious once in a while but nothing to bad, and the last year have had a lot go on and so now all of the symptoms are back along with new ones (which is so much fun, lol) but need to get back talking to people and figure all this out. Like I said before I know this is so hard and its scary and hard to explain to others who have never been through this, but find someone, a friend, family, a counselor or people on here, just keep talking.

  • john47751
    john47751 Brandy1997

    Posted

    Brandy, I know exactly how you feel. I'm very new to anxiety and it truly is extremely scary. It makes you feel feelings you've never thought about or really felt before. It makes you paranoid and it puts thoughts into your head that you simply wouldn't consider. To make a long story short.....its hell and trust me friend you're not alone and the good news is that you're NOT going crazy. The bad news is that its a very long rough road to recovery.

    I've only been here on this site for a short time but I can tell you right now that if I hadn't come here I know I wouldn't be doing as well as I am right now. The people here are extremely helpful and have allot of first hand knowledge that can truly help you because they're dealing with the same thing. Again... you're not going crazy. You're just having an extremely rough patch but there is hope and you'll have to put in allot of work mentally to get back to how good you were feeling before your anxiety hit.

    You'll have quite a few bad days but also know you'll have a few good days as well and as time goes on you'll find that the bad days will become fewer and fewer. My best advice to you right now is seek out the help of a councelor and if you can, come back here as often as you can. Read though some of the posts and you just might find little bits and pieces of what someone may post here that may truly help you.

    ...its helped me allot and I know it will have a good shot at helping you. Best of luck friend.

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