I'm worried as my husband, 76, is muddled now using his computer

Hi Amanda

I urge you to talk to your husband if it possible and try to get him to have tests, my husband was showing different signs and I begged him to go to the doctor for years but he would not go for anything so in the end I had to trick him in to going with me and from that appointment he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia which I had already guessed, in case you dont know it is dementia with hallucinations which can be very bad and last for hours or minutes day or night, he is getting tablets but they only help a bit at the moment, how I wish I had been stronger earlier I left work to look after him 6 years before getting any help and I was looking after him 24/7 and he was getting worse all the time. DONT let yourself get to the state I was in of depression,tired and crying all the time. Good Luck.

from Sue

Get ready for a long ride. Sounds just like my husband, now diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It has been 9 years since he was in that situation and he is now completely dependent upon me. The sooner you can get him on aricept the better, exercise helps to get blood flow to brain. Buckle up and good luck.

PS He is turning 72 this month

I am sorry to read of your concern. My wife has 'difficulty' with her iPad. I sort things out for her (updates etc) but she blames her old iPad. I eventually bought her a new one and made the screen look just the same. She still uses her old one. The newer one she does not now use at all. Then she had another spell when the (old) iPad was not working correctly. After a while I bought her an 2018 model. It is lighter and so more comfortable to handle and carry. Now she uses both indescriminately.

She has been diagnosed with Altzhiemers but told by the clinic that she has Mild Cognative Impairment (MCI). She could not tollerate the drugs she tried. So now she and I struggle on together. The policy in this Health area is to tell the patient they have dementia only when the patient insists on being told. I have found that the big advantage of the diagnosis is that I have stopped fearing I am just imagining the behavioural changes and concentate on not upsetting my wife by correcting and retraining her. I do overrule dangerous mistakes without explanation: that works without rancour happily.

My wife uses the iPad for email and SCABBLE and searching for programs on the BBC, ITV and ALL4 apps. She also sends eCards. I help when she gets stuck and do some things that she cannot manage for herself.

Dear Amanda

This stage is very hard on the carer. In this area the clinic that deals with this is the Memory Clinic. It is an outpatient clinic run by the local NHS Psychiatric Hospital which is called Wellsprings Hospital after its street address so the Psychiatric aspect is not in your face. My wife was referred to it following a memory blank of several hours. After many weeks she was discharged as she could not tolerate Donepezil and with the formal diagnosis of MCI. She still stoutly adheres to that diagnosis and admits to a bad memory for names. She is unaware of the wide range of changes in behaviour which are all too obvious to me.

Possibly your husband might seek a referral to the Memory Clinic as there are drugs that can help some patients to improve their memory (and other symptoms) or slow the deterioration. That might ease your husband's distress. It might also help you. I have found the Contented Dementia approach very helpful to me in my efforts to maintain a happy home. The GP might refer him or he might prefer to 'self-refer'. The GP will be informed of a self-referral as a matter of course so do not worry about that.