I need a good vent plus looking for advice

Posted , 5 users are following.

I started dating this guy and I am more the ready to start having sex with him. Now I am the kind of person who is usually comfortable with my own how I look. Unfortunately insecurities come to play when I look at my skin in my armpits, between my thighs and the scars on my chest from old inflammation use to be. I even look at myself sometimes and feel a little disgusted. I be thinking in my head “oh this guy not going to want to go down on me and he might think it’s contagious". I want to have a talk about before we do start getting intimate but I don't know where to even begin a conversation like that. Now I feel bad because lately I had been avoiding him. I’ve did have other partners before but my skin was no where near as bad then as it is now. For instance it seem like my HS has been dormant for a whole year so far and as soon as I met him and starting to like him all of the sudden they are not. Not only that I’ve notice they are appearing in new places and I’m just over it. I’ve been considering the surgery and I was like if i get it and be out of work will it be okay and gone for good or will it appear in different areas? I know this is all over the place but i just needed to vent a little bit. I can’t vent to just anybody because I feel like they don’t really understand what I go through or how I feel or even relate because they don’t have it.

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Why not mention the condition in passing and share some information about it and see what his reaction is.......also get on your diet and see whether the flares go down before making the jump to surgery. Lucky (tongue in cheek) for me my lesions are all over my head so what you see is what you get!! Take heart my dear you'll pull through....... An interesting observation..... it seems like love is a trigger... 😉

  • Posted

    Hi, first let me tell you that I TRULY DO FEEL YOUR PAIN. I am married and I wont let my hubby see me naked because of hs. It has messed my life up. i had little nodules under one armpit and two and a half years later my armpit is unrecognizable. My self esteem is super low as well as my drive. I dont know how much advice I can offer but I can tell you dont give up the fight. If your relationship is still fresh than you may want to lightly bring it up. if feeling are there ,than you should have an open conversation with him. Like the other person said try different types of diets. I am getting ready to try a new method and see if it works. i never quit trying things because in my heart there is a cure somewhere. I really wish you the best with your relationship and overall health.

  • Posted

    I really understand how you feel and all the insecurities that come with having this condition. MY advice is to be open about HS to him and don't be afraid to let him know about how you feel, if this guy really cares for you, he will respect and understand you. If he reacts negatively, he definitely don't deserve you and neither does having sex with him. good luck and please love yourself, dont be afraid of rejection because there is so many ignorant people in this world and we cant rely our happiness on them.. i have stage 3 HS but i stay positive and thanks to my husband that has always being supportive i seldom feel insecure, theres time i do get depress out of nowhere but it natural to feel that way , we are humans and some things we cant control. take care and wish you the best in life and in finding that someone that will truly love and accept you.

  • Posted

    Hi Tierra,

    I had this exact same situation 3 years ago with my fiance when I met her. I just said that I wanted to tell her something and that I have a skin condition, it isn't contagious, but it isn't nice to look at. Then I explained what it was called and what it causes and where. Explained again for a second time that it isn't contagious or dangerous! And then just saw where it went.. obviously as she is now my fiance it went well lol.

    As for the surgery, I've never had it but I have heard it isn't 100%.. you can have it and everything be fine for years and years but then it can come back in the same place, in different places. But for some people it doesn't, luck of the draw I guess.

    Hope this helps.


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