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i'm Ameenat , i have social anxiety and i feel terrible i just found out yesterday when i googled having trouble walking cus i usually do in front of a lot people and i get all shaky and my legs freeze and i keep telling myself people are looking when they are not and when i tall myself they aren't i feel like i'm lying. i have no friends everyone thinks i'm weird my parents are divorced i have an autistic brother. my step dad is always hitting and punching me and my brother and he recently punched me so i moved out to stay with my grandma my real dad dosent even care and my mom acts like she cant see me i;m always crying in the bathroom in school cus i hate school i always feel terrible and i hate myself i cant even go to the hospital i have no family i wonder where God is and why does it have to be me i get insulted every day especially during lunch and i come home and i feel even worse thinking of the next day of school no one knows the pain i feel in my heart the times i wish for death no one understands and i just wish i could be adopted by nice folks but its too late i even told someone on youtube and they said i should try drugs but i'm not willing i really need help and i want to know im not alone and that i can be helped. i cant even sleep school is all i think of what a life
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