I need help

I didnt post to be shamed by anyone I thought maybe this community would be easier to talk to but I guess not. I am not sure which HSV I have Ive been diagnosed for about 13- 14m maybe. I am currently on Valtrex I dnt have it in front of me to know the mg. But to be quiet honest if u arent gonna be someone I can talk to without being shamed then there is no point or keep responding.

That is your prerogative, but there are many of us on here who got herpes from someone who failed to disclose and/or take proper precautions, so you won't find as much sympathy on here as you were expecting. While I may disapprove of what you did, I will nevertheless give you a thorough answer.

The HSV type you have matters. If HSV1, you put him at little risk and likely don't even need to be on daily meds for suppression.

If HSV2, however, that is different. The good news is that you've had it for over a year, which is the most infectious period, plus you are on daily meds. If you are taking at least 500mg per day without fail, and for five straight days or more before you had sex, and had no breakthrough symptoms at the time, then that is also very good.

Probably he was not put at much risk, but nobody can say zero risk, and it will be very hard for you to disclose after the fact, as he will no doubt get angry. The best you can do is explain the above, plus the fact that the transmission risk from women to men is lower than vice versa.

Before you disclose, however, I would find out your type. If HSV1, you don't even need to really disclose, as it sheds less and infrequently, plus you are on the meds which could be argued as overkill, and most people carry it orally, often without symptoms. If HSV2, however, you should disclose. Ask for your original lab results, otherwise do the IgG antibody test for HSV2 (not IgM).

I am not looking for sympathy at all. I know I messed up trust me I feel very guilty. It only happen once which is more than enough but I dnt want to do anything with him without disclosing my health with him. I never once thought we were gonna have sex the first time. I have been on a 90 suppressive therapy which I havent had any signs of a outbreak since February. I would totally understand him being angry but I am scared of the unknown as far as him telling others my status bc of his emotions. GH is almost looked at as social suicide. I was also exposed to GH unknowingly so I do understand how he would feel once I disclose. I just needed to be able to finally talk to a community that can relate to my health. Its hard to talk to someone who doesnt know or understand bc they arent physically dealing with what I am.

Do try to find out which type you have. That makes quite the difference in terms of infectiousness, stigma, and even the need to disclose or how. Before taking suppressive therapy, do you remember whether you got frequent outbreaks or not? Or were you put on meds straight away and haven't been off them since?

When I had my 1st outbreak which was 4 yrs ago I was treated for vaginal lessions for 3 yrs bc no blood test nor cultures came back positive. I then found out almost 15 months ago after giving vaginal birth that I had GH almost a month after giving birth. Before now I would have an outbreak only once a yr and they treated me with penicillin which treated my outbreak at the time. Once I was correctly diagnosed they gave me like 10 pills to help with my current outbreak after giving birth. Then it took 4 months for me to have another outbreak which thats when I was put on suppressive therapy to lower my chances of having an outbreak. My first outbreak was 2 wks after getting a Brazilian wax 4 yrs ago but like I said I wasnt diagnosed with GH just vaginal lessions.

That is interesting. Once a year outbreaks sounds like it could be HSV1, but it's hard to say for sure. Herpes isn't treated with penicillin, by the way, so that's odd. However, you were somehow diagnosed with herpes at the time of your child's birth, which wasn't too long ago, so do you think there's a chance you can contact your doctor or the hospital for specifics?

Yes I know Herbes arent treated with penicillin. They treated me for vaginal lessions for 3 yrs. Like I was saying I had an outbreak once a yr. So thats what they would give me. But shortly after giving birth I had an outbreak and they did blood work and a culture again and that time it came bacl positive for GH. I was devastated. So now the last past year and some months Ive been trying to deal with my new lifestyle. But I will contact my gyn and see which one I do have. I am still learning about GH. I have been trying to educate myself as things come up and reading literature on it as well here and there. You dnt know how much this form is helping me right now bc I havent had the chance and be able to just talk about what I am dealing with bc I am scared of beint judged.

Yes, this forum is good and I will try to help you with any queries you have regarding herpes and testing, etc. Once you find out whether or not they typed you, and if so, which HSV type you have, you can post back here.