I need help and have to stop crying and I can't think of anything anymore except seeking help
Posted , 7 users are following.
I'm 19 years old, come from a well doing family and have got the chance of studying in an amazing school and now a good college but I do find myself stuck in an emotional passage where I'm not able to help myself but cry. I have this fear in my mind that something will happen to my Parents, they'll fall ill. Fear that if I learn to drive I'll probably hit someone on the road. It may sound really weird but these fears haunt me now. Besides this I always feel I'm not happy with anything at all. Simple example would be- in school I had friends who were from really rich backgrounds and all so I use to feel like I'm faking in front of them. In college when I've found some good friends who are genuine and with whom I can be who I am- I feel annoyed and irritated because they're not my type so practically I don't know what's wrong.
I've always been really focussed when it comes to career planning and becoming successful which is why I'm doing ten other things besides college to help myself grow faster but it seems like I'm keeping myself busy to get away from myself. I don't know what to do.
I've never dated because one way I've felt that no guy who actually liked me was worth it and the guy who I liked was way beyond my level and he would not even bother talking to me. Seven years I liked the same person, he's not even around me anymore and I'm still not over him. It makes me cry almost everyday but I don't know why it happened- we weren't even friends so liking someone so much whom you haven't even spoken to properly makes no sense and why can't I just get over him
With my parents- they're really nice and teens don't usually say this but I love spending time with them and I always want to make sure I am there for them and they too share everything with me on their behalf but sometimes I just randomly say things to them that later on I only cry about. One side I know it's difficult to give so much fees and other expenses and I want to share their burden and other side I just end up saying things to them where I feel their not doing enough. I'm not one of those cranky immature kids but sometimes I just lose control on my words. I am completely shattered from inside. I've started hating college without a valid reason, I cry about that guy all the time, when I go for parties I try to seek positive attention by dressing my best and I hate faking it up at the same time. My parents are really nice but I hurt them unintentionally. I just wanna become successful as soon as possible and when I work towards it I just forget that there's a life to live. I love myself but also feel a little low on comparison of my own looks with others and I just don't know what's wrong. I know everything that's not right but still I can't control it or do anything about it.
I have no idea about what's wrong with me but it just becomes hard to accept when everytime something wrong happens with me like my mom falling really ill and losing herself at that stage even though she's the nicest person I know and she's one of those who has never done anything wrong to others or a simple thing like an event of mine completely getting destroyed because of someone, eventhough I prayed for it to be fine and I've never hurt anybody and I'm always nice with everyone. I don't know why it happens with me and I don't know how to stop crying about it and be happy. Why can't I just love normally and not have such extreme zones? Please help if you can.
2 likes, 4 replies
laura11452 the_girl89197
Posted
Hi the girl
You sound like a lovely, caring, thoughtful and kind teenager that needs some support.
Its sounds like you suffer from depression and anxiety. Have you went to see your doctor to speak about how you feel??
You also sound like your putting a lot of pressure on yourself to get your career up and running NOW.. Take your time you will get there..
Your parents love you unconditionally and know you don't mean what you say.. Understand that you will be having a bad day and they might be on the receiving end of it.. Your parents are the safest ones to take it out on without being rejected or pushed away that is why we do it.. All pretty normal and the fact you care about it shows what a lovely person you are..
The boy you liked was probably your first experience of true love and your probably grieving for the lost.. Doesn't matter you didn't date him but Iam sure you dreamt of times you would have loved to have been with him..
Looks are not everything and if anything they can be a hinderance and boys will just see the looks instead of loving the person for what they are inside.. You have nothing to worry about your a loving, caring person and I am quite sure your pretty as well and you just don't see it..
I would make an appointment to see your doctor to talk about your anxiety and possible depression.. Speak to your mum about how you feel and get some support..
mishellian the_girl89197
Posted
You must see your doctor/college counsellor immediately to see if you can get into therapy. You need support to get you refocused and working on some of those little issues whilst completing a demanding qualification. If you want the career then you're going to need to get into a more emotionally stable frame of mind. I say this because I was exactly the same as you and messed up my degree because of it.
You're going to be fine, you need to arm yourself with as much support as possible. Again, something I didn't do at the time.
The last thing you want you want to do is carry this all on into adult life. Something that I did do and now paying the price.
So realise it's common than you think. Take action. And remember this feeling doesn't last forever. I know you can do this. X
sarah56507 the_girl89197
Posted
Hello the girl,
First of all, your description of your life as a teenager matches so much mine, specially the platonic love that seems to last forever. It may sound very simple what I'm going to say, but that's what happens when you get to my age (turning 47 today), things become a bit simpler because you can look back and see that the things that once were huge problems were, most of it, part of beeing a teenager.
Far from me trying to not validate your feeling, I'd never do that, but you should never think there's something wrong with you based on this description of your life. It's very typical of your age.
you know, there's one big difference between your description and mine of my teens age. You love and say great things about your parents. In that aspect I unfortunately was a bit more typical than you, because I couldn't see the good side of having parents...and they were not bad, now looking back, they were just parents trying their best.
Of course you fear losing your parents, specially because you love them. My suggestion is to enjoy your moments with them. I lost my mother three months ago, but the feeling was that I had lost her way back, I'm talking decades here. And you know why? Due to her long term depression she was not able to feel life, accept the things that could not be changed and was not strong enough to make necessary changes to the things she didn't like. She had all the help to recover but couldn't fight what was killing her, instead chose to blame her deep sadness on others. She became an example to me on how we need to go find help when things don't seem to go anywhere. You are doing that by writing here. You have your loving parents to whom you can talk and also ask for help. Open up to them and say how you feel. I'm sure they're going to provide you with necessary professional care, if that's what you need.
It's nice to see that you recognize their effort in paying for good education for you, don't feel guilty about that, feel greatful by being a great student. I'm sure they do that for love. It's their job. They decided to have you, they knew they would have expenses.
Three things I said here:
- you sound like a very normal teenager
- if you feel you need help, ask your loving parents to provide it for you
- enjoy your parents presence in your life here and now
You will be absolutely fine!!! Believe me!!!
richard89308 the_girl89197
Posted
you are a bit underconfident about everything at the moment. I suggest you talk it out with your mother and then look at enjoying college but remember to work hard at what you want to achieve. Don't over-analyze either because that will just lead you down the path of anxiety. If unsure confront the situation and ask the person concerned.