I need something advice.

Posted , 3 users are following.

It's been a little over 2 years and I'm still having a hard time excepting this diagnosis. I still can't say it out load and I've only told one other person and that's just been in the last 6 months. I've excepted that fact that I'll be alone forever or at least I had up until June of this year when I started seeing a man that I fell in love with. It took me awhile to tell him but when I did he was completely understanding even looked at me like I was crazy for being so worried about telling him lol.

But my questions are: I went to the doctor after an interaction (I don't talk about because the memory is to painful and hurtful) and I felt some pain and she told me it was H she didn't do any blood work or swabs but she did give me some medication and the pain went away in about a week but I've had no signs or symptoms since.

So could this diagnosis been wrong or am I just hoping and living in denial??

I love this man and even though he said it was ok and if anything happened we'd deal with it. But I'm absolutely terrified of giving this to him to the point of breaking my heart and leaving him.

I really don't know what to do I don't have anyone to talk to.

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • Posted

    Accept and open up to his love, believe him. I've been in a loyal relationship with a man I'm absolutely in love with for over 3 years. Literally, one random day I began feeling some burning on my skin on my vagina around my anus. Thinking maybe it was an after effect from already being sick and suffering from diahrrea I didn't think much of it until I developed what I thought was a cyst. It was a small raised lump. I went to see my OBGYN who swabbed the area and visually diagnosed me with genital herpes. I was absolutely in disbelief due to the fact that I had only slept with one other man whom I was in a loyal, or what I thought was loyal, relationship (he wasn't the greatest person). I absolutely didn't believe the diagnosis and I had refused to take the antiviral she prescribed me. Later on that night I began seeing little red bumps start to form and that one lump I originally had, started turning onto a cluster of three perfectly sized ulcers. I spent the last few days obsessing over the fact that this may be a possibility even though I couldn't find a single picture on Google to resemble my outbreak. I began to accept it and I hit rock bottom. Every bad thought crossed my mind, suicide, being alone, leaving the love of my life because how could anyone wanna be with someone like me? That was disgusting right? ... Well so I thought. I disclosed this to him actually the day I walked out of the clinic, he was in shock also because he had never had any outbreaks. But he told me he wasn't worried, he understands I have a auto immune disease as well and that things happen and this is something I could have also potentially caught from my ex (because I can remember he did have a cold sore on his mouth ONCE our whole relationship) and since my health is at a spiral downfall at the moment this was a perfect time for my body to have an outbreak (5 years later). So I absolutely accepted the fact he may have passed HSV1 to me genitally and that's exactly what happened, my doctor called me a week later and gave me the diagnosis. Long story short, you're not alone. My obgyn explained to me that it's more of a skin condition that flares up when you're run down etc rather then an sti. It's society that puts this big frown on it and looks down on it. Do some research on your strain, and really really read into it. It's scary whenever an outbreak occurs but trust me when your man says it's ok. This actually brought me and mine closer together. We continue to have sex (I'm outbreak free) and he's performed oral on me. It hasn't changed a thing in our relationship. He doesn't look at me any differently and I believe him and love&appreciate him so much for it. Open yourself up to him and practice sex safely whenever an outbreak is going to happen. Just trust him and read more into these groups as well. I promise it gets easier .. Stay strong.

    • Posted

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I've been having to deal with this alone until I met him. I've just now in the last 6 months or so been able to do any type of research without feeling sick. I found this board and I already feel better then I have since I found out.

      How do I find out what strain I have? Also during my first OB I had "sores" of sorts on my lips one on my breast (where he bit me and drew blood) and some in my vaginal area. Does this mean I have both or just one strain?

      Again thank you so much you have really lifted my soul.

    • Posted

      You could have just one strain, my guess is HSV1 especially if you never had an outbreak before and if you haven't had one since. My best advice for you would be to see a gynocologist (they're the best when it comes to our lady parts and know more in my opinion) and have them do a culture of the area. That will help them determine what strain it is and that's how they can treat you for it. Each outbreak gets less and less intense and as for HSV1 genitally, you get maybe one a year or one your entire life but the inital outbreak is sometimes severe. You can also get blood work done to determine the strain. And your very welcome! I've only been positive for a month now and groups like this have lifted me so much, I try to reply to as many as I can because I still get emotional about it and still feel the pain and it's nice to have people to relate to or that can help me in return

    • Posted

      Yes just having someone to talk about this is such a relief!

      Up until that first OB which was horrible I'd never had anything and I've never had on OB since then but my doctor told me when I felt anything coming on to take L-Lysine but I take 1000mg a day every day and I wonder if that has something to do with it.

      You have given me such relief if I wasn't at work I'd cry I almost am anyway. I'm so afraid to tell anyone.

    • Posted

      Don't feel obligated to have to disclose it with anyone (other then your significant other/sex partner). It doesn't change who you are as a person and shouldn't change how people feel about you either. It doesn't make you less of a woman, things happen to us all and something like this is more common then you'd think 1 in 3 people have it. Children included have oral HSV1 from sharing drinks/kisses with elders, family, friends .. Do you mind if I ask what strain you have?

    • Posted

      I don't know the doctor just looked at it and said it looks like H no tests were ever done.

    • Posted

      I would def see if you could get a blood test just so you're sure, either way it doesn't even matter, it doesn't make you a bad person or change a thing smile I hope I helped you a bit with coping. It just gets easier from here!

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