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i need to be honest

Posted , 6 users are following.

nico75
nico75

Hi, for many years now i have been kidding myself that i am fine and that maybe i'm just unhappy with how my life has turned out which in part is true but to tell the truth i've always known that i'm suffering from depression and it has now become to hard to hide. The way i feel at the minute i just want to hide away but thats not possible when you are trying to hold down a full time job and act normal (put a front on in front of work colleagues). I have never admitted to anyone how i feel but i finally told my daughter a couple of days a go and although she didn't say so i know she must feel

let down by me because im supoosed to be the strong one and let her now that everything is ok

2 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • kelly8973
    kelly8973 nico75

    Posted

    Hi nico

    You did a very brave thing by telling youre daughter thats the first step admitting that you have depression. Also coming on here and knowing you are not alone everyone here is in a similar boat ride and not a very nice one at that. Now you really need to be brave and take the step of going to youre doctor and getting some help. Im still a long way with depression and other physical health problems but unfortunatly im off work. If you need to talk loads of people on here are at hand. How old is youre daughter? My teenage boys still dont know the extent of how low id become they just knew as we had lost my mum there granny very suddenly last year that i was unhappy. Id had depression on and of for years but due to sensitivity to ads am yet to find one that i can tolerate. Be brave and visit the doctor just telling someone you dont know is a huge relief

    • nico75
      nico75 kelly8973

      Posted

      Hi Kelly, thankyou for replying it means a lot to know i can talk to people who actually understand and dont just think im being a bit over dramatic. My daughter is 20 and although part of me thinks she deserved to know, a bigger part of me feels so so bad for dumping that bomb shell on her when like i said i should be the strong one whos there for her. I am so scared to go to doctors because it makes it all so real and once i do i feel like like i will be labelled as mentally ill and it will always be held against me if tha makes sense
    • kelly8973
      kelly8973 nico75

      Posted

      I totally understand youre thinking because i have been extremly unwell and they now just blame it on "depression" damed if you do damed if you dont and once that happens. But i do think you need help. Im no doctor but if you really dont want to go a lot of people try the herbal medication st johns wart but be warned if you take it you cannot take anti depressants on top of them. I do believe you need something even something on a small dose as it will jist get worse believe me and maybe just help you get back on track. Let us know how you get on x

  • barbara22845
    barbara22845 nico75

    Posted

    You can't believe what she feels without asking. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of but keeping it private can be a good choice knowing the public view. This is a disease as much as cancer, diabetes or any other. It is very misunder stood and that is why people don't get help many times because they think it is a weakness. You need to see a doctor and address your concerns. You can feel much better and deserve it. Read articles about depression and get information for yoursel and your daughter. You both need a better understanding about depression. Communication is very important with your loved ones and they want you better ss much as you want to get better. I pray you feel better soon and get a better understanding of your concern.

    • nico75
      nico75 barbara22845

      Posted

      I know you're right how can i tell how she feels if i dont ask her and she did say it was the right thing to do me telling her but it doesn't stop me feeling bad. My problem is i over think things and worry far too much what other people think of me and i am so scared about seeing a doctor because it makes it all so real and what if i get meds that make me worse or i cant function at work. I know whst i will do i will talk myself out if it and tell myself im over reacting

  • borderriever
    borderriever nico75

    Posted

    You are not weak having depression many famous people in the past were Depressives, one comes to mind Winston Churchhill.

    Talk to your GP, if you know the reason for the depression your are halway there to understand how you need to put your life back on course.

    Good Luck

    • nico75
      nico75 borderriever

      Posted

      Thank you, just having people in a similar situation to talk to is helping i wish i had done this before now
  • ann72524
    ann72524 nico75

    Posted

    You can do this no need to be unhappy get to doctor and explain your situation. I hope all goes well and I here for you
  • hayley36890
    hayley36890 nico75

    Posted

    I feel the same as you do. I keep putting on a front at work pretending everything okay but it isn't just smiling and laughing but deep down your hurt just like me. We are all human and we all hurt too. I don't even know why I feel like this. I think working is my trigger every time I go into work I just hide away and don't talk to anyone just get on with my own thing but it hard in retail for me to do that's but don't suffer like I have done I have finally reach out to a counselor today. X here if you need a chat

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