I need to talk to some one. I get up in the morning, an...

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I need to talk to some one.

I get up in the morning, and my first thought is about a drink. I feel as though I run on alcohol, food is never on my mind. My life does not mean anything to me, I have no friends, no family. Yes, I have been drinking as I speak... but then who am I speaking to? ... it would be nice to talk to someone in the same boat.

I was not truthful about waking up in the morning for a drink... I wake up in the middle of the night... thats if I ever sleep, and its scares the hell out of me, because this is my life.

[i:8100778c40]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:8100778c40]

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  • Posted

    I came across your note tonight while researching liver failure information for my parents, who are watching one of my brothers die of alcholism.

    Are you still looking for someone to talk to?

    I used to hide bottles in the edges of my waterbed because I would wake up during the night needing a drink.

    I would walk to the liquor store at six a.m. - so I could have a couple of drinks before walking my daughter to school....usually it would take two or three tries before the first drink would stay down.

    My life is different now.

    I will look for your response - but if you don't find me again..try Alcoholics Anonymous....listen to what you can use to make your life better...don't worry about the rest. Allow yourself a chance. There is hope; there is real life ...the person you drink to be is in there - you will find them if you allow yourself sobriety.

    [i:b8e99ed950]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:b8e99ed950]

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  • Posted

    hello,

    are you still wanting to talk to someone...

    i have only just found this site...

    i know you sent your messages a while back...

    i wish you all the best of health and happiness...

    ps.

    i lost my friend yesterday he was just 41 years old.

    we are burying him next week...

    he were an alcholic ...

    id love to chat ...

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  • Posted

    [quote:8e801cecf9=\"N.\"]I need to talk to some one.

    I get up in the morning, and my first thought is about a drink. I feel as though I run on alcohol, food is never on my mind. My life does not mean anything to me, I have no friends, no family. Yes, I have been drinking as I speak... but then who am I speaking to? ... it would be nice to talk to someone in the same boat.

    I was not truthful about waking up in the morning for a drink... I wake up in the middle of the night... thats if I ever sleep, and its scares the hell out of me, because this is my life.

    [i:8e801cecf9]This message was automatically imported from the original Patient Experience[/i:8e801cecf9][/quote:8e801cecf9]

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  • Posted

    :? I seem to spend day after day in some sort of denial, that I have a problem...by lunch time, I often wonderwhat am I going to do when my children go to bed...so then I plan ahead and start to get anxious, wondering how on earth , I am going to sleep. Drink my wine...then go to bed...The only time I am interested in food, is when I am drunk,,,,,,and that could be due to the drink.....but I dont think so!!! I dont know.

    Today, I feel better than usual. Quite proud of the fact that I threw half my wine down the sink last night!!!! Quite happy that I have survived or am , surviving my ridiculous behaviour!!!! I dont know how I am still alive!!!!!

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  • Posted

    Hello Tiny Tears,

    I have just found this site and wondered how you are. If you want to talk, please post a message...............

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  • Posted

    Hi recovery, ....(gulp) I hope taltalk, does not read this....Oh youd only get that joke if you had been me here yesterday :oops:

    Technical support team rang me to check I was okay,,,,,,was he bored????

    To be perfectly frank, I am no further forward, I still blink, drin k and stink......[b:2cd19b0031]sorry, I know its not a laughing matter[/b:2cd19b0031]I do want to get better.....hmmmm and watching that film last night\"When A man loves a Woman\"....cried my eyes out...had a good day at work, though boss was off.... I just think I get intimidated by people far too easily.

    Partner is winding me up , and grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! I feel really sad!

    Its funny though, if anyone else was to live in my mad world...youd wonder how on earth I can still walk and talk. Fed up with this dizziness.

    I dont want to die youngm, and have my children suffer, at the mometn, thats pretty much the hole I am heading in. :lol:

    How are you recovery?

    Have you recovered? or are you recovering....or is that just a name you gave yourself? Pleases, give me hope, Oh yeah,, and thanks for asking how I was.....

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  • Posted

    Sorry, recovery, If I could I would send you a PM, (personal message), but your not registered.

    My thoughts just repeat and repeat, and while I should not and will not post a new posting anywhere else, i cant cope with them any longer. I just wish I could sleep. I know I can cope, I know I can manage, but I struggle, at everything now, just everything....\"Every little helps\"..is how I used to fight this....but its not working. Its 2 steps forward, 3 steps back, All the bleeps dont describe it. I am fed up. fed up with being polite and nice to people, when all I actually want to do , is lie down somewhere...and say...well it rhymns with duck...and ends in F. basically, enough is enough. Ive had enough of this struggle. Why does everything, every little thing , seem so difficult. I analyse everyting, I even watch how other people, even doctors and nurses, school teachers, bus drivers paramedics, accountants, lawyers, shelf stackers cope. they all seem to be able to put a front on things...even if they do drink. i cant anymore, i cant hide it,,,its too much.

    I know it sounds self absorbed, and the thing is, I am never usually, The last person I normally think about is me, but I feel so dizzy , sweaty and essentially, on edge, all the time. I feel like others put me down, cant be bothered with me, dont like me, think I am an ugly waist of space. That cant even work in a shop...work a till, put clothes on a shop floor. Pfff!!!Where did I go wrong?

    Dont , please dont, missunderstand me. I love my children and if anything happened to them I would be more than devastated. I just feel very unloved, no one listens or understands. All at the same time, think that all i have ever done is exacerbate my relationship difficulties. Sorry, but Ive said enough now, must go.

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  • Posted

    1 out of 10 :lol: Who rated that????

    So harassed today...arghhh....need something to calm me down,

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  • Posted

    Hi, I hope you are okay now. I am 27 but I am lucky to have made it past 23, which is when I got extremely ill and was diagnosed with acute Pancreatitis. I was a daily drinker, and my life was ruled by the bottle. It was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, and the last thing I thought of when I finally passed out each night. I would often wake up covered in red wine, as I couldn't bare to part with my vessel of alcohol even in my sleep. I am so lucky to have gotten ill when I did, as I don't believe I would have had the strength to abstain if my life hadn't depended on it. I am coming up to four years sober and while my life isn't perfect, it has improved by leaps and bounds.

    I do hope you have found yourself some help Tiny Tears, but I understand you have to want help in order to achieve that first. Think of your kids future, but with out their mother, their future will be a very sad one. Good luck.

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