I need urgent help Awake for almost 7 days 160 hours and counting

I'm at the point where I don't even want to lie in my bed anymore because I feel so deeply terrible now. All I do is lie there hoping to fall asleep and it doesn't happen. 

I've had sleep problems my whole life, as a child of 6ish it already took me several hours to fall asleep. And when I did sleep I'd be awake and about 4 hours later and according to my mother this was normal for me.

Continuing in my life it always took me hours to fall asleep. And the older I got the worse it got. And now for at least 6 months now I have not had REM sleep because I don't sleep long enough in a row for that, And that I can deal with because well I just don't have a choice there's nothing I can do to sleep longer if my body doesn't want to.

And also for the past 6 months I've slept on average about 2-3 days of the week if I'm lucky. 5 days of no sleep has been my record throughout the years and so far I had never gone passed that. This week I went passed day 6 and now I'm on day 7.

I never used many sleep medications because you know the deal with that stuff you will just need more and more and more and it will eventually break your ability to sleep at all.

I've used some zopiclon with some succes in the first months when I would be sleep deprived for about 3 days or so. After that stopped working I tried Temazepam and that did absolutely nothing for me. And for the record in total in this time I used 2 boxes of zopiclon and 1 strip of temazepam so it's not like i'm addicted or depended on them.

The next step was after 4 days of sleep to take a valium and again that helped at first.

But now it just doesn't do anything. Again in total I've not taken more than 10 valiums/diazepam in my life. On day 5 of no sleep I took another valium because well what else is left to do I HAVE TO GET SOME SLEEP. But to no avail. Then on day 6 well what can I do.. I took another valium in the hopes of getting some sleep. And I started listening to ASMR sounds. But nope ofc not I don't even feel tired when i'm in bed. I only feel tired during the whole day but when i'm in bed I'm wide awake.

Now as I am typing this I am on day 7 and I got a lorazepam from a friend and I'm considering taking this strong medication because if this goes on for much longer I will literally die.

I've also been referred for treatment in a sleep centers but ofc as our whole society is sleep deprived nowadays the waiting list is at least 10 months. And they don't care about urgency even though half the people coming their probably can't sleep because they eat too much crap (i.e sugar) And have terrible habits like taking the smartphones into their beds. 

Things I've tried

- Pills

- Relaxation techniques

- ASMR

- Relaxing music

- Breathing techniques

- Trying to accept that I cannot change it

- Weighted blanket (10kg)

- M-line matras (spent 3000 euro on this s**t) it's a great bed but I still can't sleep

- Reading before bedtime

- Reset my circadian cycle with light therapy and melatonin

- Bodyscan

And I've tried many other things that I can't recall right now because as you can imagine the effects of sleep deprivation are f*****g intense excuse my swearing but I just can't take it anymore. And I'm seriously starting to get concerned about my health. And this is not a unique occasion as I mentioned on average I'm awake between 3-5 days a week not by any choice.

All my doctor can really do is just prescribe me stronger medications but I would prefer to not use these. Though as I said tonight I might take a lorazepam to see if this can turn the lights off.

What happens when I lie down in bed. First of all I'm tired when I go to bed and I really want to sleep. 20 minutes later I'm wide awake my jaws are clenched and its hard to unclench them. My body is pretty tense as well and my head feels like it's in a vice grip of madness (thoughts) Plus I experience this as a physical pressure by now. I sweat a lot, and now in The Netherlands it's becoming winter and I get the added bonus of sweating and then feeling cold and then sweating and feeling cold. 

I tend to stay in bed even though I can't sleep so that at the very least my body gets some rest. For example if I go to bed at 24:00pm I would stay in bed till 10:00am or maybe even 12:00am because I'm just to godamn tired to get out of bed and I still have a secret hope the whole night long that somewhere I might be able to slip in a hour of sleep or even a few minutes but it never happens and I'm stuck in this cycle of waiting for sleep to happen.

It's a pretty long story I know.

Also ?I just typed into google " sleep forum " as I'm so desperate that any new advice that anyone could give me I will try.

Please please pleaaase I really need help. I am losing my mind.

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