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I'll get straight to the point. I took 3mg xanax (1mg 3x daily) for over 10 years. In the beginning I read stories online about how benzo's ruined people's lives. How people got hooked after just a few months, but I thought "im way too tough for that". A couple months in I forgot to take my dose. I didn't even feel anxious. Didn't know I forgot it. Just went about my day as usual. I went to bed and just as I was about to sleep... Bam. I'm sure I don't have to describe everything about a panic attack, but that's when the doctors made me feel like I NEEDED them. Fast forward 8 years, my life is nothing like it was. I couldn't hold down a decent job. In fact, I went 3 years without working AT ALL. So when I say it ruined my life, I mean it. Everyone would remind me of how I was in the past. The difference was like night and day. Obviously I had a vague recollection because my memory at this point is shot. I decided I wanted to go back being the old me.
Here's how I did it.
First off, I refused to look up anything negative about withdrawals or how hard it was or anything even remotely close. Only google success stories. Period!
I told my family and close friends I was going to quit and to bare with me for a while because I knew I was going to be weird for a little bit.
I started tapering. I tapered down 1/2 milligram every 2 weeks. Some say that was too much, too fast, but I figured the quicker I got it over with, the quicker I'd be back to normal.
I'll be honest... It wasn't very easy. BUT it wasn't as bad as you'd think. Of course I felt the anxiety, but I felt like I did right before I would take my dose while I was on them. I was used to the feeling. I just toughed it out.
I avoided doing anything that would increase my anxiety for the first couple months. Pretty much stayed home all day. I would leave to get food and necessities daily. As time progressed, I went out more and more.
At about 2 months benzo free I started to feel like I was coming back. I was still a little off, but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I started looking for a job and going out with friends more often and bringing women home and felt perfectly fine to do whatever I pleased, but like I said earlier I felt just a little off. I started to sleep 8 hours all the way through without any sleep aids.
At about 4 months in, i was ready for the world. Like very ready. I got a job in retail. Dealing with customers face to face. Forcing me to have conversations. I didn't want to do this, but I knew it would help me. It DID.
6 months in I WAS BACK. I FELT GREAT! It was as if I never had an anxiety issue to begin with. Much happier! Always smiling and laughing. I got my witty personality back. Everything was perfect.
Here I am 1.5 years after being 100 percent benzo free and I'm doing amazing! I had to find a forum so I could share my success story. YOU CAN DO IT. Don't let these doctors trick you into thinking that it's way too hard. With just a few months of patience you'll be back to normal. I promise you.
If you have any questions I'm here. I will give you my phone number if need be. If I did it, you can too.
YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK.
YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL.
YOU WILL FEEL AMAZING.
YOU CAN DO IT.
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