I really can't understand what is happening to me?

Posted , 6 users are following.

I woke up one day some months before my final high school exams feeling as if nothing really meant anything anymore and life was utterly pointless. I was told by an analyst I had anxiety most probably caused by exams,  which I thought would wear off after high school was over. It's now been 5 months sinceeverything started, and everyday I feel more and more like an empty shell. I am not sad, angry, or happy, I don't cry very often and in any case whenever I do cry it is not of any relief. When I am with my friends I laugh a lot and do fun things, but I feel so 'detached' and still empty: anything that would formerly fill me up with joy I feel I can no longer reach out to. If I hug my mum, I will not get a sense of security like I used to, if I listen to a song I like it does not conjure up any pleasant images or give me a happy feeling, if I read a book or watch a movie I just automatically will dislike it because I feel so detached from it and its characters. It is a weird feeling to describe, because looking up depression on the internet I see so many people talking about sadness and feelings of hopelessness which I don't relate to. All I can say is that I feel alienated from the world and lonely, but at the same time I acknowledge my luck at having a wonderful family and friends so I am not really alone. Nothing really satisfies me or excites me, and this worries me about my future, I have high hopes in terma of my education and I'm scared I'll fail miserably due to lack of interest. I used to be such an enthusiastic person with a plethora of emotions, I would get really psyched about bands or movies or books or really anything coming my way and I was just extremely energetic. Now I feel very feeble emotions for those around me, my passions have sort of waned and I am terrified this feeling of being stuck in a rut will be irreversible. I can't even wallow in my good memories any longer, because the emotions I was feeling at the time I can't really summon up. Nothing is wrong with my life, I have not been through a trauma and I don't have relationship problems with anyone. I just feel completely empty and apathetic. Taking sertraline is not doing absolutely anything. Am I alone in this? What is happening to me and how can I be helped?

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    You are not alone! It is depression even tho you say you have nothing to be depressed about! Detachment from everything is from this! Believe me I know I have suffered from this many times in my life! It is hard to explain the emptiness you feel and trying to look ok on the outside! How long have you been taking your med? 
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    • Posted

      I've been on sertraline for 5 and a half weeks now, and on Tavor for 3 months. Thank you for your kind reply, I really have trouble explaining this issue to people, especially because I do not knwo thw root of it all.

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  • Posted

    I think you need to go back to your doctor and tell him/her that the current antidepressant isn't working for you.It can take time to find the right one.. Good luck. Maggie

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  • Posted

    Aww, God bless you my friend.

    Have you had your thyroid checked?

    If not please do so. It's a simple blood test.

    Also have the T-3 and T-4 levels tested.

    You would be amazed what a dysfunctional

    thyroid can do!

    Best of luck

    Maggie

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    • Posted

      I had my blood tested about 6 months ago, I was becoming really hypocondriac at the time but the anxiety hadn't really kicked in. In any case everything was fine, except for shortage of Iron which is common in my family. Do you think I should get my thyroid tested again?

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  • Posted

    They say when people finish their examinations many feel flat and life becomes stressed. What this could be is after all the studying and swotting, then taking your examinations life, you just become mentally tired and also expctant of what will come to pass. Give yourself time to slow down and relax. If you feel the need to see your GP, do so as I am no GP.

    You will now be wondering, what next ?. A whole full and interesting life awaits enjoy and do not worry.

    I am very emvious.

    Good Luck, give yourself time and enjoy what awaits

    BOB

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