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I woke up one day some months before my final high school exams feeling as if nothing really meant anything anymore and life was utterly pointless. I was told by an analyst I had anxiety most probably caused by exams, which I thought would wear off after high school was over. It's now been 5 months sinceeverything started, and everyday I feel more and more like an empty shell. I am not sad, angry, or happy, I don't cry very often and in any case whenever I do cry it is not of any relief. When I am with my friends I laugh a lot and do fun things, but I feel so 'detached' and still empty: anything that would formerly fill me up with joy I feel I can no longer reach out to. If I hug my mum, I will not get a sense of security like I used to, if I listen to a song I like it does not conjure up any pleasant images or give me a happy feeling, if I read a book or watch a movie I just automatically will dislike it because I feel so detached from it and its characters. It is a weird feeling to describe, because looking up depression on the internet I see so many people talking about sadness and feelings of hopelessness which I don't relate to. All I can say is that I feel alienated from the world and lonely, but at the same time I acknowledge my luck at having a wonderful family and friends so I am not really alone. Nothing really satisfies me or excites me, and this worries me about my future, I have high hopes in terma of my education and I'm scared I'll fail miserably due to lack of interest. I used to be such an enthusiastic person with a plethora of emotions, I would get really psyched about bands or movies or books or really anything coming my way and I was just extremely energetic. Now I feel very feeble emotions for those around me, my passions have sort of waned and I am terrified this feeling of being stuck in a rut will be irreversible. I can't even wallow in my good memories any longer, because the emotions I was feeling at the time I can't really summon up. Nothing is wrong with my life, I have not been through a trauma and I don't have relationship problems with anyone. I just feel completely empty and apathetic. Taking sertraline is not doing absolutely anything. Am I alone in this? What is happening to me and how can I be helped?
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