I really need some advise please

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was hoping for some straight forward information on bipolar​ or boarderline personality disorder as i have googled them both and looked on a few websites but i dont feel they really explain the illness in detail especially to someone who doesnt really know anything about it

​My son is 18yrs old

Several years ago he was self harming, eating dsorder and suffered with anxiety and panic attacks

​He has been doing really well he has stopped self harming and sorted out his eating, the anxiety is still there but nothing like it was but recently his behaviour has changed and quite dramatically too

​His behaviour and moods are very irratic daily and  throughout the whole day

He is very snappy and irrational alot of the time

​His mood can change several times during a conversation - excited, happy to moody, argumentative to irrational and like in a depressive state

​Everything has to be his way, if you dont agree with him he goes off in a mood, if you dont like the same music or films as him he can get irritated and talks to you with an aggressive tone

​Things have to be now for example if he asked you to pass the tv control and you havent done it as soon as he has stopped talking he will get up and come over and snatch it off of you

I have 2 younger son, 15 and 9 and he is not very nice to them especially the youngest one as he is very abrupt with him and verbally pushes him around and  can sometimes get physical - last week he pinned him to the wall by his throat

​I no longer really feel comfortable leaving them home alone together, i alway feel i need to be watching him waiting for his mood to change

​|My older son is bigger so he can look out for himself a bit more than my younger son can

I really dont know what to do

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  • Posted

    Hi i have BPD. And it does sound like it. Without medication my mood swings were just as bad. Under high stress this does still happen to me. My partner has learnt my triggers and warnings to help pull me back when I need to.

    Please go see your GP. When I went to my gp it was first just depression (never really looked at the inbetweens) then they though bipolar and referred me. I then got diagnosed with BPD and was put on medication. Soon after I became stable as was actually able to just sit down and be calm.

    When I was younger I had eating disorders, would self harm, do risky and self harming behaviours eg excessively drinking, sleeping around and so on.

    Book an appointment at your gp and get him to be honest about how HE feels. Yes it will be hard for him to do that. At first I just went to shut people up and prove a point. My partner says its like walking on eggshells constantly when I have one of those days. The sooner he gets help the better not only for himself but for your family.

    BPD usually has other underlying mental illnesses as well like anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, PTSD (some believe BPD is a complex PTSD). I also have fibromyalgia and an anxiety disorder along with my BPD. The sooner he gets help the better. It can be so easy to slip onto a really dark place with this illness and not be able to come back.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your reply Marie

      He has had problems in the past with anxiety, panic attacks, self harming and eating problems

      After a battle he finally agreed to counselling but this didn't not seem to help if anything it made things worse.

      I think he needs to go and see a doctor but he wont as he doesn't think there is anything wrong

      If you ask him how he is his answer is always the same

      I'm ok, you?

      How can I make him go? He is nearly 19

      He says sorry alot

      Sometimes you ask him what he is sorry for and his reply is I'm not sure but I'm sorry

      He also asks me if I'm ok alot

      Sometime upto 6 times in a day

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    • Posted

      Have you heard of intermintent explosive disorder?

      He sounds like my youngest..flipping out.

      I'm sure my son has this...I have brought my son to hospital and they basically didn't know what to do with him.

      He flips out...and his eyes change..his whole demeanor changes.

      Look it up..get him some medication....I feel if I had...for my son...continued to keep on it...he would be better.

      Its a tiring illness..mental illness...whether BPD..Bipolar...Intermediant explosive temper...regardless...try your BEST to get him medication.

      I failed in this area..and my son is 27 and still suffering..no girl will go out with him..he is too emotional..explosive.

       

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    • Posted

      and my son used to be overly concerned about me..especially after he "flipped" out...are you ok Mom?

      Um..no....because YOU ARE NOT

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  • Posted

    I know that most people are not going to agree with me.  But here goes.  My 23 year old son was having the exact same problems.  His diet was also atrocious - he wouldn't eat dinner with us, drank energy drinks and sodas, ate junk food, drink a lot of alcohol, and abused drugs.  Naturally, he couldn't function properly mentally.  He had a mental psychotic breakdown at 17 after years of abusing his body.  

    He was given antipsychotics to get him over the 

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    • Posted

      (sorry - accidentally hit Enter)

      ...pschosis.  He stayed healthy for a while until he got back into the bad habits.  Then he had another psychotic break.  

      He is now doing well, improving daily, and staying away from junk food and drugs.  

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