I see no meaning in life, I don't want this what can I do?
Posted , 4 users are following.
I'm currently 15 years old and going on 16 in Feb, and god I don't know what to do.
To start my life isn't horrible; I'm in Soccer which I have fun doing as it relieves my stress and distracts me but sometimes my thoughts that things don't matter sneak in, my mother is wonderful and loving, close friends, and I don't have trouble socializing.
That's the problem. Nothing is explicably wrong with my life and yet I feel the fire inside me has gone out. I see no point in anything and always seem to find the downside of everything. Usually its the same thing. We all die in the end so what's the point of helping others or doing anything at all. It doesn't matter. We're insignificant.
This has been going on for 4 months or more now, it feels like a lifetime. I'll have my happy moments but soon they'll vanish. I used to be the biggest optimist, positive, hopeful person you'd ever meet. Now I've gone through existentialism, apathy, and nihilism. I don't want to be like this, I want the old me back. Where I'm happy and eager every morning to get up and start the day. But at the same time I think perhaps its better to live truthfully in acceptance than a delsuion of happiness. Please help me.
I haven't gone to a doctor and I've told some friends about this but they just play it off as nothing much and tell me something cliche like just enjoy life which I should do but I don't accept nor want that to be the only answer. If I killed myself, sure I'd make people sad but what does it matter, they're going to die soon anyways right? I still have compassion and help others where they need it. So I don't think I'm quite past saving. I'm 15, I shouldn't be feeling this and whenever something remotely above good happens to me I immediately shut it down by telling myself it's pointless.
I love my friends and family, I need help, I don't want to keep thinking like this.
2 likes, 3 replies
ursulauc62 JulisaM
Posted
Hi Julisa. You are not going to die soon. Youre life does matter, because we - humans matter to each other. Ok, if we all just disappeared the rest of life on this planet wouldnt really miss us - except maybe our pets - for a bit - but we are here.
It 's just a fact, and so in our world, we matter.
I am quite a bit older than you, and I have had quite alot of family members die - most of them pretty old I'm glad to say, so they didnt really die before their time. Except for one - my brother in law - who died suddenly a few years ago, when he was in his fifties. That probably does seem old to me - but honestly its not. I have family who are over 90 and still going strong.
It was a terrible shock when he went, and we all miss him terribly.
You dont know for certain if there is no reason why we are here. There is scientifically. I'm not very religious - though I wish I was sometimes - but I still mange to get through life and enjoy quite a bit of it. I do take anti-depressants. I have gone through the same feelings as you, and much worse. I am quite a depressive personality.
I remember being 16, and when I reached that age, I was over the moon - for a number of reasons. I felt like I was finally - legally - more independant to do certain things, had more rights, so that was a plus, whatever else was going on!
You can go to the doctor confidentially without your'e parents having to know anything about it when you are 16 - if you are in the UK. Not sure where you live. If you can, then do so, and maybe you can be referred for counselling. Maybe your'e school/college has a counselling service. You shouldnt ignore these feelings, but you can do something proactive about them.
rebecca09138 JulisaM
Posted
Dear JulisaM i have not found my purpose to life etheir but there is always a reason why. You just need to figure out what that is is how to acheive it. Dying isn't the awnser plus you have not yet acomplished life goals. You are an amazing person beileve in yourself. You are not alone. Btw i apoligize if words are mispelled spell check isn't working.
Digsby JulisaM
Posted
Hi Julisa,
You are at a crucial age where you are still discovering who you are, figuring out the world and finding your place in it. That can be a bit daunting - some of us are still overwhelmed by it all ;-) Some of us put a whole lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves - we have expectations about what we should be doing and thinking and when we don't live up to these things, we can be too hard on ourselves. Consider objectively what you might say to a friend who wrote the words you have just shared with us. Sometimes our friends (the people we would like to understand us) just don't "get" us or they say the wrong thing. It might be a big step, but maybe it's something you could open up to with your parents. If a face-to-face is too embarassing, then write it down and let them read what is going on. Alternatively, if you feel more comfortable with someone outside of the situation, consider approaching a school counsellor or nurse. You're an intelligent person and you just need to figure out a few things that are throwing you off track. I'm glad that you haven't stopped doing the things that used to bring you enjoyment. You will find your mojo :-)
Intrusive thoughts bother many of us on this forum. Gaining control of them can be a hard battle and causes a lot of distress and self-doubt. My therapist taught me that thoughts can be like muscle spasms - I don't actually have control over the 1000s of things that pop into my head every minute. I do have control over my actions though. I've learnt to accept a lot of these intrusive thoughts for what they are - unwelcome visitors. It's not easy to evict them, but if you focus elsewhere and ignore them, they will get bored and move on. Easier said than done I know but it's a satisfying achievement when you can control the most unhelpful of these thoughts. Don't lose who you are in the process. Don't stop feeling compassion for others. Look after yourself and exercise self-compassion too. Sorry to bombard you with advice. I hope some of it is useful. Good luck. Let us know how you get on.