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I see no meaning in life, social culture or my personal wishes and desires.

Posted , 4 users are following.

LipyN
LipyN

Hi everyone, 

I would like to ask you all to help and guide me.

I am 24 years old female and I am doing masters degree.

I used to be a very happy person, who loved to try new things and enjoy life.I had many good friends and I was also very good at studies ( I was a topper in school). I would not b lying if I say that I was a very quick learner.I played sports at state and higher levels.I used to be an allrounder in school, 

But since the last 3-4 years, I am facing many issues with myself and my life, like  :

- I see no meaning in life and I have lost interest in all my hobbies.

- My social life has also suffered. I dont talk with any1, not even with my old friends. I speak less and there are times when I didnt speak a work the entire day.

Sometimes, I try to talk with people but I fail to do that. Because I am blank all the time and have no thoughts going on in my head.People always tell me that I talk less, look confused and lost all the time.  

- I lost all the confidence that I had in myself and badly suffer from low self esteem now. I like to stay alone. and I feel anxious when I am around people. I feel like no1 respects me and I dont deserve to be in the place where I am currently ( I am in a very reputed institute)

- I am also having weird memory issues. ( cant remember people's name, face, what i spoke 1 min back ). I make silly spelling mistakes, I  cant visualise or understand what I am reading,  have to re read 2-3 times), I stammer while speaking english and find it difficult to speak in complete sentences, its really difficult to find words and express what I want to say, I forget what I did yesterday, what is the month going on, what is the time, date, past events. Its like I have a very volatile memory

- I have become a thinker. I am able to think clearly in head but when I try to do things in action, I make blunders.

I dont know what is wrong with me

I dont even feel anything about anyone, not even for myself.

I feel like there is no point of my existnce. I have no goals no wishes not likes. But the only thing I know is that I was never like this and I want to change my life to the way it used to be. I want to live and strive for the dreams that I had before. I want to life my life and not waste it feeling bad about myself and my life.

Please help me. I dont know why I am having all these problems . I would seriously like to know what is wrong with me. is this some mental issue? or psychological issues? what should I do ?

plz help. if anyone has any idea .It would be really helpful for me.

 

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • lily65668
    lily65668 LipyN

    Posted

    You don't say whether you've seen a doctor. If you haven't, this has to be your first step - and ASAP. You can't get diagnosed on a forum. Since you say you've been like this for three or four years, it's unlikely that it's a brain lesion, but you still need to get checked. You'll also need full blood tests done as this sounds as if it could be some kind of post-viral condition, or even a serious vitamin or mineral deficiency.

    You also don't say whether you've seen a therapist or are on any medication for your condition.

    If you haven't done any of the above, please see your general doctor as soon as you can and tell him/her the full story so you can get some investigations done. If you're already being treated for all this, then you need to get back to your doctor or mental health team and tell them the treatment isn't working.

    • LipyN
      LipyN lily65668

      Posted

      Hey lily,

      Thank you so much for your prompt reply.

      Well I am not visiting any doctor or on any medication currently. 

      Though once tried for it, I saw a neurologist (last year) and had an MRI done, but the report was all normal. 

      I have a history of B12 deficiency. I have had it since my school days and I once took a of course of injections also for the same. 

       

       

    • lily65668
      lily65668 LipyN

      Posted

      Look, I'm a former nurse - neuro trained too, so I know what I'm talking about. If you have a vitamin B12 deficiency it's usually for life, unless you've been going through a period of severe malnutrition. You can't just take a course of treatment and get cured.

      Many of the symptoms you describe are precisely those of B12 deficiency. Are you getting six-monthly blood tests? And are you eating normally? B12 deficiency can be the result of anorexia nervosa or bulimia.

      I'm glad to hear your brain MRI was normal. But please, you must see a doctor and get your B12 levels checked regularly. If this is due to B12 deficiency you could be putting yourself at risk of irreversible brain damage later on in life. I'm talking about early-onset dementia.

      I'm not trying to scare you, but you really must take this seriously.

  • shana7
    shana7 LipyN

    Posted

    Hi LipyN, 

    Please also talk to your friends and family and everyone who cares for you. You need a network of those who will be there for you. You need to get strong, and keep believing in yourself. YOU achieved all those things. It is not your imagination. Many people would work for years to achieve what you have at such a young age. So don't give up. 

    Look it people give those who are normal a very hard time. Just imagine what happens to those who are differently abled. So I wouldn't bother about how others are treating you. Trust yourself first, get professional help with your B12 as lily has stated and get your family and everyone who cares about you in your network. 

    As you were a bright girl and are a bright girl I am sure there must be some of the teachers who would also be of support and your sports buddies. Usually sports buddies do not give up on each other. 

    Shana

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