I think I found my problems.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi guys many of you know me from my constant cries for help. I know this is a forum for the drug but i have grown comfortable talking to you all. Anyways I get told that I need to find the root of my anxiety. Today has not been extremely bad but also not great. So this morning as I was laying in bed with my normal hell of anxiety I was thinking what is really bothering me. I recently lost my grandfather early this year. I took it very hard but I felt better over time and that I had excepted his passing. But the problem is now all I can think about is my parents and especially my dad. He does not take care of himself and he is getting older. I have constant fear of losing my loved ones. I even get anxiety at the thought of my children growing up and change. I feel that by my grandfather's passing has opened up so many doors that just flood me with terrible thoughts and anxiety. The problem I'm also having is that even when I'm not thinking about it I am feeling tons of anxiety which leads me to think about the stuff that causes the anxiety to become worse. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster. When the citalopram is in effect I can almost try to bring on an attack but it will not happen. I feel really good and I am able to acept my fears. So with this being said I need to combine these. I need to be able to cope and get through this even when I am on my down days. I feel the longer it takes to get through I will cause myself to have anxiety about other things and the list will grow. I know I have these problems but I do not understand how I have led myself to become this way. Does anyone have any suggestions in how to cope with these thoughts? I know people die and I know life goes on and I know change will happen with or without me. But how do I train myself to k ow that this should not hurt. I feel so lost from where I was a few months ago. I just turned 25 years old. I have a job that I don't hate and a fiance with 2 kids who absolutely love me. My life is great. It truly is. I was on a path in my life where I felt I was going somewhere. How can I get back to me? I'm am constantly thinking about this anxiety. When I feeling good and when I'm feeling like crap. The anxiety is ALWAYS know my mind and I really need to change that. That Is a huge problem as well. I hope all of this makes sense to you. If anyone has advice even if it's silly please do let me know what you think. I appreciate all your help and it seems like you all are the only ones who actually understand what I'm going through. Thank you!

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Scott and Merry Christmas. I'm glad that you have found the root of your anxiety. Based on what you have stated, your problem is the " fear of losing control" over things all things. Life, events and certain circumstances. As all anxiety is caused by losing one's control. But thats what life is all about. I mean, we can't control all. There are things that we can control like our choices but not all, in fact majority of life is not our control.Scott, what you need is to ACCEPT it. The death, the changes and all that you can't control. Let it be just as it be. Be at peace. Who knows, changes may be good or best. That is life. We can't always figure life right away. And my best advice is, bhave faith in God. I don't know if you are a Christian or not. Pray and when you have prayed, wait. God has all the control. God loves you. All He need is faith from. Let God be God. He will not allow things to happen without any reason and He knows what is best for us in the long run. I hope I helped you in some ways. God bless bro. Be at peace. Accept all circumstances. Put your trust to God.
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    • Posted

      Hi thank you so much for your fast response. Now that I have found the root at least what I believe is the root I will really have to figure out how to get past this. And to answer your question yes I am a Christian and ever since I have started going through this I believe that God has been blessing me and my family not only financially but leading me to the rite people such as yourself and others to help me get through this. I do understand that there is so much I have no control of and that it is all normal. It's strange I know it's normal but yet I'm not understanding why I am not getting the feom the acceptance. I guess there's alot to. A person can day one thing and feel another. And that's where I am stuck. Thank you again for your support.
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    • Posted

      You are most welcome. Like what I said, acceptance may be the key. And when you start to think of circumstances, lets say bad events, then start telling yourself that you will figure it out when it occur. For the meantime that it had not happened, which probably won't happen, just be at peace and stop tormenting yourself. God bless you always.
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  • Posted

    Ok, the way I learnt to understand this, is that we all have these fears whether we're ill with anxiety or not.  The difference is that when you're well, these thoughts pop into our head, but were able to put them into perspective, able to deal with them and put them to the back of our minds.  When we're full of anxiety these thoughts scare us, cause us more anxiety than we've already got, and because they scare us and our minds are over tired, we're unable to 'file' these away and they stick and bounce around in our head causing more anxiety.  When you're ill you can't reason with these thoughts, they're bigger than you feel able to cope with - it's because you're ill.

    So ...... some people arrive at this illness either through prolonged stress from something (as I did) or maybe sudden shock.  Whether you had some underlying stress before your grandfathers passing, or maybe it was a shock to your system ...... you've identified that this was probably the trigger.

    When you're ill with anxiety and/or depression, all manner of weird thoughts can pop up - I had my fair share of them.  It's seems like we need to test ourselves, rest our anxiety to see if it still shocks us - and oh boy, it sure does.

    You get into a cycle of anxiety, thoughts, fear, anxiety thoughts, fear ..... and so on.  You need to break this cycle.  This medication will break the cycle in time - it helps sooth your nerves, calms your anxiety, and in time all your fear provoking thoughts will be put back into perspective, and they won't be bother you anymore.

    Counselling helps you understand your thoughts too.

    The medication works very slowly.  It will be uncomfortable for a while yet, but it will get better until the anxiety and thoughts don't come anymore.  So yes, I agree you should accept these thoughts for what they are - they're just thoughts, but because you're ill you're unable to deal with them at the moment.  Let them be there, they're temporary, and as you recover they'll slowly become unscary.

    You will get over this.  Just give yourself time.  Remind yourself you're ill and you're recovering, and for the time being the thoughts and anxiety will be with you, but they will go.

    You can't hurry recovery.  You can't hurry a broken leg to heal quickly, just as you can't hurry this.  But you will heal.

    K x

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    • Posted

      Hi Kate, once again I just want to thank you. You have so much knowledge about anxiety and a true gift of helping people such as myself get through this. You make so much sense and always bring me peace of mind after I read yours posts. Thank you so much. I'm so thankful for you. Please be patient with me as I am sure when I am feeling terrible I will be asking many more questions. People keep telling me to stop thinking and talking about it but I believe the more I learn and the more I get off my chest the better I feel. May God bless you greatly for the help you have given to others.
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    • Posted

      Hi Scott

      I don't think you should stop talking and thinking about it - it helps so much to understand this, and anyhow .... how can you stop thinking about it ... when you're ill it's usually on your mind 24/7 ..... you will eventually stop talking about it so much, but for now if you feel you need to, then why not.  It's usually people who haven't suffered with this illness who give well meaning advice but don't really understand.

      When I was ill I read so much about this and wanted to talk about it all the time, but didn't as kept it to myself.  It helps to heal when you get it out in the open.  I think understanding what's happening to you takes the mystery out of this illness and helps take away some anxiety.  

      No worries, I have lots of patience 😊  My 20 year old son went through this last year too and we used to sit together and talk for hours - with medication he eventually recovered.

      This site is really good, and it helps to talk to others who are going through (or been through) the same.

      K xx

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  • Posted

    Bless your heart, it's fab you've got to the root cause, I'm still searching! I think CBT would help you immensely its counselling but helps you think in a different way and puts things into a different perspective, your go can give you a phone no and you can refer yourself, and it's free!!! Much love xxx
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    • Posted

      Thank you that actually sounds like a very good idea. I have been thinking about getting some kind of help. Everythime I try and to talk to people with the exception of you all they have no idea what I'm going through. They act as if I can just stop it or calm down. I feel that my support system is not as strong as it was when I first started going through this. I'm so glad I found this forum it has helped me so much.
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    • Posted

      I think people get fed up of being supportive (prob not in a horrid way)  as it takes such a long time to recover, it's not like the flu where you're better in 7-10 days xxx have a chat with your GP and see what counselling they can give you details of xxx you aren't alone, it's an illness like any other (just with no obvious symptoms) and you will get better it just take flipping ages!! xxx
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