I think i have Dissositive Disorder please help me

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I defnitely have de personalization ...it feels as if to me that there is  a part of me the real identity of myself wants me to feel this way and i believe it and it really frightens me and then theres the part of me that kills that fire by saying who im supposed to be....then when i try to remeber something for example when i  was  friends earlier i have to place myself in the how im supposed to be and not the truly who i am. Do any of you feel this way

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