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I think I know now how I got the herpes virus

Posted , 3 users are following.

sandra100
sandra100

I was diagnosed with the HSV virus 2 years ago.  After the initial outbreak I have been lucky enough not to have had any more outbreaks apart from the occasional cold sore.  I have been with the same man for over 9 years apart from a break 5 years ago, he did at that time have a few partners.  I have never slept around or had a one night stand, had very few sexual partners so I have always blamed it on my current partner for giving me the virus.  He has always denied it was him and said he had a blood test which came back negative, so far I have had no proof of this, I have asked him to get tested but he has refused.

However, just to digress a bit, he has just got himself a Tablet, he is learning to use it and is not very computer literature at the moment.  Last night he asked me to look up a holiday site, he gave me the Tablet and said 'you are better at this than me', on typing the letter 'A' into google, all his history came up which included a load of adult dating sites, when I questioned him he said he doesn't know how they got there, I said they got there because you put them there.   He has continued to deny it, he doesn't understand what internet history means.  He even blamed it all on me saying I was trying to pick a row, which I wasn't. As you can imagine I am now thinking that he has been cheating on me for sometime now one way or another.  We don't live together so he has the freedom to do anything he wants, I feel he has crossed the line and am now convinced it is him who has given me the virus.  I feel the best thing would be to walk away as since having been diagnosed I don't feel the same and have been off of sex.  I would eventually like to meet someone new but am scared of what they are going to think of me having this awful virus. I have no proof it was my current partner who gave it to me but my gut instinct tells me it was.  Feel really low now and don't know how to move on from this.  Any advice would be helpful.

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • michelle92584
    michelle92584 sandra100

    Posted

    hi just read your post sorry that your going through this I just found out: I have a very supportive bf who lives in Mexico. I cry often I'm trying my best to deal wirh it. This first breakout is horrible I'm in so much pain. I'm taking valtrex hoping it gets better soon. just know your not alone surrounding yourself around loving supportive people will help . I've been thinking about joining a support group
    • sandra100
      sandra100 michelle92584

      Posted

      So sorry to hear what you are going through, I remember the pain so well, it will get better, mine took about 3 weeks before I was completely clear of the blisters.  Just look after yourself, have a good diet and plenty of sleep. Valtrex will help. I am lucky that I have not had another outbreak, I think I am more upset now as to who I think gave it to me, I think the best way forward is to finish the relationship with this person, it will be hard but I have to do it, I can't move forward with him knowing he has been on these adult dating sites, to me its a form of cheating.  Take care lovely and do join a support group, I may just do the same.
  • michelle92584
    michelle92584 sandra100

    Posted

    Thank you so much for your reply it's nice having someone to talk to. Yes it's hard knowing someone that you trustest and love could do something like this and not even own up to it.. But do what's best for you that's the most important step.. Happy to hear you haven't had another outbreak. The pain is unbearable wow.. I have no idea who gave it to me or how long I"ve had it. Just thank God my Boyfriend is very understanding and supportive.. Plus I have my kids to keep my mind occupied while I"m healing.. Definetly a life changer.. Hoping I can look at this as a blessing and not a curse.. I pray this is the only outbreak I ever have!! Thank you again.. Hope to keep in contact with you.. We can help each other !! Hugs Michelle
    • sandra100
      sandra100 michelle92584

      Posted

      Its good that you are being positive, I always tell myself that it is not life threatening, that makes me feel better.  It is also great that your boyfriend is supportive, I hope that it is the only outbreak you will ever have, it is certainly one of the most painful things I have had to deal with (apart from having babies)! Yes I reckon we can help each other.  Hugs to you as well. Sandra
  • feelbroken
    feelbroken sandra100

    Posted

    I'm sorry you are going through this. I haven't told anyone but an old flame and he didn't care. However, I didn't want to be w him for other reasons. I know 7 girls who are married and have herpes and their partner didn't have it when they got together. One is on her second marriage. So it appears people will accept this. I know how scary it is, buy you don't deserve this. He is gaslighting you, by deflecting and blaming you. I think he did cheat on you and likely still is. I really do believe, once a cheater always a cheater. I think you deserve way better.
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