I think I'm an alcoholic

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I think I might be an alcoholic. I drink constantly due to my depression and I'm so addicted that I can't stop drinking for days. I was raped as a child and I was abused and for some reason when I drink to it all comes up. I'm in so much pain and I don't know how to help myself. Please help me

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  • Posted

    hello Angelina. You have had a hard life for certain and drinking I do understand but it is not a good solution. Sorry to be direct but drinking is something we all know about on this forum. I certainly drank for over 30 yrs and did finally hit rock bottom 3 1/2 yrs ago and nearly destroyed my family and did manage to stop. Are you ready to see your GP to get medication or is that too intruisive?? just wondering which way you should go. Anybody in your family or friends who can help you?? All the best from Robin
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  • Posted

    Welcome, Angelina and thank you for sharing your story with us. I know it takes a lot to confide in someone like this, we'll do our best to help or point you to someone who can.

    It sounds like you'd like to get the drink under control, so you can work on clearing this trauma in your life and move on. I'm fairly certain we can help get started on managing the drink so it isn't taking over your life.

    If you don't mind saying, are you in the UK? What have you tried before, just willpower or AA? Everyone here has or has had a serious run-in with alcohol, so nobody can throw stones.

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  • Posted

    Hi angelina,

     

    Hello; there are ways and means to assess if you're really are an alcoholic. At the end of the day, only you will truly know; there are many definitions to be found on line and of course your G.P. will assess you but of course you must tell your G.P. the absolute truth about the quantity you drink and how it's affecting your life.

    My own belief is that if drinking is making your life unmanageble then that is the main benchmark. You said you were drinking constantly then you said you drank for days? 

    I'm compelled to ask: how much you drink and what happens when you stop? It may be that you're a binge drinker but a binge drinker can be an alcoholic. Only you can admit if you are; others can tell you but any admission of being an alcoholic must come from you. 

    It's relative to whatever route you take to either stop drinking or control it. The more you drink, the more pain and depression you will feel. There are experts on these forums who will give you more professional advice than I can.

    I was raped too when I was 9 years old by two men at diffent intervals - one I found out years later was a homosexual; he ended up in jail and I heard he'd died. This was years ago. I did see the other one years later with a girlfriend 'in tow'. I confronted him but don't know what happened to him. He was younger than the other man; maybe he was 'experimenting' with me?

    I was with my girlfriend at the time and she was shocked to see me so angry and abusive. I hadn't told her or anyone else until then.

    So questions were asked of course and answers given. I didn't know anything about sex when I was 9 so I didn't realise anything untoward had happened until years later when I realised what had happened. My girlfriend was the first person I confided in. My parents died without ever knowing. 

    The specifics of it all came back years later, I thought I had done something wrong at the time but didn't know what so I said nothing. I felt some shame and guilt but I didn't know why.

    I tell you this because I believe I would have become an alcoholic if it hadn't happened but gender, age and other factors should probably be taken into consideration in your case. Professionals are much better equiped to help you with that one. 

    Maybe being an alcoholic it was in my genes - that theory does tie in with the fact that many of my family members (cousins mainly) were alcoholics at the time. Some say it's a learned habit, some say it's genetic and various other reasons; professionals, The British Medical journal and other Health Authority expert reports said - at the time - that a definate conclusion could not be reached in their summaries at the time.

    However, that was a long time ago; things change and I haven't read a British Medical journal for years. Perhaps the answer as to why alcoholics are alcoholics has been discovered with 100% certainty since I last looked?

    For me, it is not so important; I am an alcoholic, I don't want to drink again; I've been sober for a long time but the more information the better. I don't really need to know why I am an alcoholic but I know others want to drink moderately so I understand that the reason is of imortance to them.

    You've been through a terrible experience and it's brave of you to share it.

    You'll find help here. 

    Good luck.

     

     

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  • Posted

    Hi chick

    So so sorry you have been through what you have. Maybe it is worth asking your doctor to refer you to see a specialist perhaps? I've not been through as extreme hell as you have but the past so many months I have felt so low I reached out to my doctor for help.

    I guess we use alcohol to try and dull the anguish we are going through even if we know it never helps.

    Try and keep your chin up x

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  • Posted

    Hello Angelina,

    I can feel your pain from your words.  Have you told your G.P. about your drinking?  Have you counted up how many Units of alcohol you drink, each day.  I know that I am an alcoholic.  It took me years to admit it to myself.  I don't know what Age-range you are in.  Does anyone in your family know how much drink is a problem, for you?  Are you hiding the evidence? I would love to be a help to you. Please ask me anything that you think might be useful.  I am so sad to know of your childhood rape and abuse.  It must be Hell to try and move on.  You were an innocent child, then.  You were used.  You are a victim.  Now, in trying to get over the past....you could be a victim of the grip of alcohol. It controls. It is an abuser.  Admitting the problem and asking for help is your first step on the road to recovery.

    Blessings on you,

    Alonangel 🎇

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  • Posted

    HI Angelina. how are you now?? What is happening during the weekend?? Perhaps try to do something you do not normally do?? I always gave myself a treat when I had not been drinking for x days...pls give us update and I do know that you have had a hard life and there a are my reasons to drink but it wll never stop because it is a demon drink....Robin
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