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I think I'm becoming addicted to hurting myself, what should I do?

Posted , 4 users are following.

alex08877
alex08877

I think I'm becoming addicted to pain. 

Around 5 years ago, I cut my arm with a pair of scissors because (at the time) I thought it was cool. 

Then, about a year after that, I started my freshmen year in high school. I started cutting regularly during this time; except with a real reason. I was facing quite a bit of emotional pain at the time, and I found that cutting distracted me from it. I also used it as a way for people to see how much pain I was in. Basically, I hoped that someone would see my cuts and help me with what I was dealing with. 

With help from my family, I got counselling and was able to stop cutting for the time.

I didn't stop cutting completely though. I continued to cut when something bad would happen to me; I remember cutting after my boyfriend broke up with me, I remember cutting after I lost my best friend, and I remember cutting over some family drama. These were all one-time cutting incidents though; once the incident happened, I cut, then I didn't again for awhile.

I am now a senior in high school, and I've picked up cutting again. I originally picked it up because of some hardships I'm going through, but now I can't stop.

I think I'm becoming addicted to the pain. On bad nights, I'll cut my wrists, fall asleep, then wake up only to cut again. On other nights, I usually just cut then go to sleep. 

I'm not even really cutting over the emotional problems I'm facing right now, I'm cutting for the pain. It's weird; I'm not sure how to explain it.

Either way, I cannot bring myself to stop! The pain is just so addiciting!

Help?!

2 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • sharon82737
    sharon82737 alex08877

    Posted

    You need to get back in with your councillor that seems the best way .. u won't get help without asking believe me.

  • borderriever
    borderriever alex08877

    Posted

    alex

    It is very important that you make an appointment with your family Doctor.

    It seems to have originated as a child where you were unable to show the pain of something that was happning in your life, you had to show the pain you were in and you may not have been able to express yourself. This problem needs to be brought out and addressed.

    Now of course you are addicted over the pain of the cut and it is becoming more dangerous as you cut by the wrist

    Please talk to your Doctor and get some treatment. I know abroad treatment can be expensive, your health is very valuable

    Make that appointment

    BOB

  • itsmesunny
    itsmesunny alex08877

    Posted

    Hi alex, me too I've been experiencing that. Right now I just finished cutting my wrist, this time it's deeper than the others. I don't why I'm addicted cutting myself too. I undestand you.

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