I think I might have OCD?..

Posted , 5 users are following.

I feel typical writing this but I feel like I need some advice I guess? Since a young age I have always had minor rules that I had to do in order to feel normal or to make balance. I used to bump into things or even slightly touch them and I would have to say sorry, even if it was a stroke of a jacket (I outgrew this) I really struggle drinking out of cups at home thus I only drink out of plastic bottles; if I am out I will hope for a straw. I have to eat yogurt with a fork. If someone pulls their eyes down, I have to push mine and theirs back up, same with fingernails and tongues. I am incredibly fussy with food and struggle daily with what to have for dinner and usually comes down to 5 meals, it has caused a lot of arguments as I don’t like anything and it appears to be getting worse. I have had a song come into my head every day almost for the past month, I don’t even like the song. I have struggled with intrusive thoughts for a couple of years whether it is thoughts of my family being killed or inappropriate thoughts that are simply wrong. I have fairly bad night time paranoia and a big fear of being burgled and have done since a young age, it is really hard to distract myself incase I need to hear anything and it can be quite stressful because all I can hear is the high pitch silence or I will get very panicky if my dog starts barking and I hear things to which then I think that someone is in my house and I think that this itself becoming more of a problem. If i am home alone, sometimes i will check every single door and under the bed and in the wardrobes. I have worked myself up that I have gone downstairs to make sure I didn’t leave the stove on and that my mum has locked the back door. There have been times where I say to myself if I don’t do this then this will happen; I feel like I know it isn’t true but it’s like a game I’ve played in my head. I’ve always been quite odd and there is stuff I am missing out however I have realised recently that this may be my problem as I have had counselling in the past and suffered from intense intrusive thoughts and a mind which i can only describe as being really loud and I just wanna scream, that was last year and there wasn’t anything to pinpoint wrong with me but now I feel like this might be it? I am 16. Thankyou smile

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    When you enforce rules and restrictions upon yourself, it could be a sign of OCD. That's something I've observed from some friends at university. Anyway, I can't wait to hear an expert opinion on this

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  • Posted

    Hi anon, it could be OCD but it could also just be your nature who knows, have you spoken to your mum, I didn't realize I had OCD till I was older, I have ritual and now I make a joke of it, if theirs a n ambulance I say hold your collar never swolllow till you see a four legged animal, I have a picture of my dog on my keyring and that's ok, if I see a magpie I am devastated if theirs only one, I don't walk on cracks on pavements and theirs loads more, door locking is a nightmare and if I have to stay in the house I'm the same, every wardrobe and bed etc, I have lived with this since I was 13 and it can be a pain but its me so just try to not do it but it's only a habit you can break.

    See how you go and ask for help if you can't cope

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  • Posted

    Hi i found your email very intriguing if that is the word i can use for it, you see i have just asked the same question on another part of the forum if i too think i have OCD, but i have been reading up on it and it covers so much ,i feel for you so much because you are young to be experiencing these kind of things , at your age you should be enjoying life making plans for your future , going out with friends, seeking a career , laughing  with boys and girls about relationships, you see i had none of that, i came from a traumatic family , fights abuse, so to be thinking like this must be coming from somewhere, why are you so afraid? you do not have to answer me but you really need to talk to a professional , this comes from deep rooted problems that you pushed so far back that makes you think like this , i am having treatment , please talk to someone you trust, take care hope you get the help you deserves
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  • Posted

    I do similar things like checking things for safety,your more excessive on alot of things.I don't have a thousand rituals more like one and all I can say is it's like a scrathed CD or broken record that will never turn off even when your trying to sleep and it's there for you'll while life.I often think of suicide because it's so bad ,I've had it since I was a kid ,so I don't know how every body else's brain functions.I just remember as a kid my main ritual was washing my hands and at 5 years old I would keep washing them till they bleed,wear socks on my hands and alot if other wierd things because I wanted to be clean.To be honespt I perfer my old ritualistic behavior than the one I do now although physically painful. the more mentally exhausting one breaks me down. All I can say is I sympathize with you,for some it gets better.You just have to find your way,but I'm not someone who can tell you what that may be because I don't know my own way.

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