i think i’ve gone mad but i can’t tell anyone or my parents

Posted , 3 users are following.

hi, i doubt anyone will see this but ill try.

i cant focus anymore, for about a month ive been obsessed with the idea being 'crazy' or knowing whats wrong with me. i keep thinking its ocd but i keep doubting but i think i might. i keep thinking over and over about sounds how i feel, something that i do and these thoughts that all make me feel like an anxious freak. i keep on repeating words over until they make no sense. i have to wash my hands twice or else something errible will happen ( i dont know but i feels horrible). i constantly doubt my feelings and my actions and i continuously search the internet for an answer. nothing in my head makes sense to me. i feel like i flip better two people. one will so many ideas amd ine that can talk to friends, a d another one thats a monster and drags a tortures the other one. i can never tell people how i reslly feel so i just go with whatever they say. i am talking with a counsellor but i cannot tell her that what were talking about isnt helping and is t me and all i want is an answer. because everything will stop when it has a name. itll be scared and run off. i always feel like im here, on earth but im never Here. im alive but im somewhere else, im watching everyone live their lives and im stuck, im forced to be silent and suffer alone by myself. i feel like i have so much school work, but usually ive done everything. i feel messy when my desk or room is tidy so i have to clean it again till it feels right. the thought of school makes me want to cry, there are too many noises that seem ti me that they carry on for ever and im sinking into the hole. i want an answer but im too scared ro ask my parents to take me to a psychologist. i feel like everything is my fault therefore i have to fix it alone.

sorry for disturbing you.

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Edited

    It sounds to me as if you may have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety can feek horrible but it cannot harm you in any way. It is very common to feel as if you are going 'mad' or going to die with anxiety. The repetitive actions you feel you need to do is to make you feel you can control your anxiety. There is no need to do so. Anxiety is a very, very common problem for hundreds of thousands of people who are experiencing the same difficulties as you every day. You are definitely not alone.

    1. Stop googling your symptoms you will only frighten yourself. Do not try to self diagnose, you are not trained for it.
    2. Talk to an expert. A doctor or a counsellor. Be completely honest with them. They will have heard it all before many times and can help you.
    3. Try to do things that are calming for you. Go for a walk, have a warm bath. Relaxation meditation on youtube .
    4. I repeat, I speak from experience, you will be okay there is nothing to fear. Anxiety cannot harm you but it does feel extremely uncomfortable and will make your thoughts run wild. So what! Try to accept it rather than fight it. It is only nervous arousal, that's all. The less you fight it the more it will calm down.
    5. Get some help, there is no need to be heroic about it. Many people have episodes like this in their lives, it doesn't mean you are weak or defective ot that there is something 'wrong' with you. There isn't. Anxiety is not an illness it is the bodies natural reaction to too much stress.

      All the best xxx

  • Posted

    I agree with the other commenter that you should speak to a psychologist. You sound like you very badly want to discuss your anxieties with someone who can give you knowledgeable advice. You will probably feel far less frightened after you've spoken to a professional. Best of luck!

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