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I’ve been together with my boyfriend for about 10 months. Most of the time we have been together, it has been amazing - we are happy, and in love, and inseparable. But there are times where this happy, bubbly person disappears, and is replaced with the shell of a person, who can barely get out of bed and go to work.
After seeing him fall into this depression on more than one occasion, I encouraged him to seek help, which he eventually did. He has now been on anti-depressants for a few months, which I thought were helping in modulating his moods, but he has recently fallen back into this depression.
I am trying desperately hard to support him, but when he is in these moods he is impossible to reason with and completely illogical. I try to support him and even just be near him, but he says it’s “better for me” if I stay away. He pushes me away and doesn’t let me see him (which, after spending almost every waking second together otherwise, is quite a big change). We don’t live together but usually spend every night, but then go to seeing each other almost never. He blocks me on social media because he wants to escape, and doesn’t want to think about things, and then accuses me of not caring about him. Things are worse when he drinks. But then once he’s out of the slump, it’s like nothing ever happened, and he’s so apologetic and lovely and kind.
This is really affecting me mentally. I find it impossible to keep up with his moods, and am exhausted trying to have a conversation with him. When we talk, it goes around in circles about how he doesn’t want his mood to affect me so he pushes me away to “protect” me and, which hurts me more, and him, by not allowing me to be there.
I am lost and I don’t know how to break out of this viscious cycle. I love him so much and all I want is to help him, but I don’t know how to broach the pattern in his behaviour without him becoming defensive or verbally attacking me - especially when he won’t let me see him.
Please let me know of any advice.
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