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For the past few days I've been going up n down the hospital to see my dying mum the evening 8th April my pain both physical and mental was so bad I took extra painkillers (I'm on 100mg m s t plus oralmorph every 3 to 4hrs) well I overdid it n took extra next thing I knew I was in hospital within 2hrs my sister younger than me by 5yrs appeared n told me my mum had died.
She died yesterday early hours I then had a mask over my face n was transferred I was then informed they were changing my meds which I've been on for 12urs n they want me to take oxycodine 60mg then oxynorm liquid I discharged myself from hospital they refused to give me my meds back but luckily I've kept some at home
To cut a long story short I can't stand my sister and as usual she's taken over I feel so empty and I am not allowing anyone to visit me I am saving my drugs even though I'm in a lot of pain I want to go and be with my mum and my late sister I've lived most of my life fighting to be accepted I can't go on anymore I don't want to hear oh you'll get through this I've heard it all before my sister has taken over as usual my dad thinks the sun shines out of her backside I just am so fed up with life I've made mistakes loads but death I prefer I have had all I can take my only kidney is packing up but I don't care life to me is just another empty day with nothing to look forward to I've cried all the tears now I just want to go
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