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I took an accidental overdose now there messing with my drugs!

Posted , 6 users are following.

Angelmate
Angelmate

For the past few days I've been going up n down the hospital to see my dying mum the evening 8th April my pain both physical and mental was so bad I took extra painkillers (I'm on 100mg m s t plus oralmorph every 3 to 4hrs) well I overdid it n took extra next thing I knew I was in hospital within 2hrs my sister younger than me by 5yrs appeared n told me my mum had died.

She died yesterday early hours I then had a mask over my face n was transferred I was then informed they were changing my meds which I've been on for 12urs n they want me to take oxycodine 60mg then oxynorm liquid I discharged myself from hospital they refused to give me my meds back but luckily I've kept some at home

To cut a long story short I can't stand my sister and as usual she's taken over I feel so empty and I am not allowing anyone to visit me I am saving my drugs even though I'm in a lot of pain I want to go and be with my mum and my late sister I've lived most of my life fighting to be accepted I can't go on anymore I don't want to hear oh you'll get through this I've heard it all before my sister has taken over as usual my dad thinks the sun shines out of her backside I just am so fed up with life I've made mistakes loads but death I prefer I have had all I can take my only kidney is packing up but I don't care life to me is just another empty day with nothing to look forward to I've cried all the tears now I just want to go

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • leigh19761
    leigh19761 Angelmate

    Posted

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss of your mother,my Mam is all I have I'm a male,my Mam an dad are still together they been married for 48years now,they argue constantly,and my dad is going senile..but what I try to do is think to myself that there is always someone somewhere worst off than me,like for instance someone that is blind and deaf etc etc..an that seems to help me..for a while.! I don't know what to say really but just try take everyday as it comes darlin,some days fly by an others drag,I've had 3 spinal operations and I'm in rather a lot of pain but like I say I try think of someone worser off than me...so how comes you are on your meds..? I'm addicted to fentanyl patches and diazepam an pregabalin,but I know what you mean about doctors,when you tell them the truth they either stop your meds or make you pick them once a bloody week so can't win really,but it sounds to me it would be a good idea if you rang the doc and asked them to come see you cos of your situation...I hope that you get through this darlin Leigh X take care
    • leigh19761
      leigh19761

      Posted

      P.s I will be thinkin of you now,even though I don't know you.!? I'm 39 years old and I suffer from depression an I'm from England,Leicestershire....its 09.52am here I don't know if your English or not..? Not that it matters....try keep your chin up Ye..!! I'm sure your Mam wouldn't want you feelin down well really really down...x
  • kellyzboyz
    kellyzboyz Angelmate

    Posted

    I'm so sorry for all the pain you've endured! I'm sure after what you've been through it's no wonder you feel the way you feel. Are you on anything for depression? You can't let your sister win! Have reached out to any hotlines to let them know you're feeling suicidal? Are there any support groups in your area? What are you on morphine for, if you don't mind me asking? Please contact me if you ever need someone to talk to, I would be happy to chat! Do you mind me asking your age, not that it really matters just curious. I've felt the way you do now and trust me, things do get better. No matter how bad you may feel right now, there is always another solution. I have an mean sister also, that has said really hurtful things to me but karma is bitch! Her time will come! Don't give up!!!
    • Angelmate
      Angelmate kellyzboyz

      Posted

      In answer to your questions first I am an ex nurse who nursed for over 26yrs,I am 53 I was married to a pig for 25yrs I have one child a 27yr son who is married.

      I am in end stage renal failure I have c.p and am in acute chronic pain 24/7 I have been on morphine for over 12yrs due to chronic acute pain.

      I have been with the man I'm with for 5yrs I don't love him and I am fully aware of what I'm doing,I appreciate your trying to help but there's no point I am sick of trying to convince the so called doctors that I've had enough and yes I am on anti depressants.

      I don't wish to be rude but this is my last post as nothing anyone can do or say to change my mind I've made sure my funeral is covered and paid for,I had hoped I could just be depressed believe me I've tried thank you for trying to help there really is no point.

    • kellyzboyz
      kellyzboyz Angelmate

      Posted

      Well we do have some things in common. I'll be 50 in the fall, not looking forward to it! I've been married for 27 years, but he's not a pig, Thank God! I have three sons, one was born with Klippel Feil Syndrome and his twin has Asperger's. My son with KFS is in nursing school, his brother we are still trying to help him decide what to do with his life, they are 23 and my youngest is 20, in school for law enforcement. I'm sorry your ex was a pig, what made you stay with him for 25 years? He must have had some good qualities! I'm sure your son would be devastated if you killed yourself. Don't get me wrong, I personally feel that if someone is suffering to the point that there is nothing to help them to feel better, assisted suicide should be an option. I know there are people that think that's terrible, just how I feel. I'm still undergoing tests to find out if I have Addison's Disease in which case my doctor would try to convince me to go in steroids for the rest of my life. Everyone knows the nasty side effects and I've already told him unless I'm unconscious in the hospital I refuse to take them. My husband actually works for a funeral home, it's always very traumatic when he has to pick up the body of someone that took their own life. Do you have any friends close by to talk to? Is it the doctor's or your health insurance messing with your meds? Doctor's I'm assuming. My health insurance tried to pull that with me, unbelievable! Where do they get off doing that if you are terminally ill!!! I'm so sorry, that is awful! Is medical marijuana legal where you live? If so, do you think that would help with your pain? Did they tell you how much longer they felt you would live? Gotta love it when you have a sister that kicks you when your down, I do know how that feels. Mine lives less than a mile away, ugh! Out of nowhere she just started attacking me, still don't know what I ever did to her. I think she's just a mean and nasty person. Anyway, I wish there was more I could do to help, I'm sure you're tired of lectures, but really if you ever just want to talk I'm here!
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