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Hi Im 24 years old and I have been suffering from depression since I was 18. It first started when I was at university and I felt very low and I found it odd so I went to the doctor and they put me on antidepressants. I didn't stay on them long as I found they made no changes whatsoever. Years passed and I would have little bouts of feeling low, but then last year I was very depressed and the worst I've felt. I tried taking an overdose and I was sent to hospital overnight. They put me forward to the crisis team but I have received no help from them whatsoever.
Next day I came back home and I still felt so low and depressed and anxious and I was scared weeks later. I finally went to the doctors and I told them what had been going on. She knew I had been on antidepressants previously and asked if the crisis team had been in touch. I said no. She then said she would try and get in contact with them but she said they might not do anything with me as "they deal with people a lot worse than you." Which really dented my confidence and I haven't been back since. The doctor give me a number to call to speak to someone but I feel like being on the phone doesn't work. I have tried calling Samaritans in the past but when I've spoke to them I've felt like I'm being spoken to like a child.
I live on my own and I do feel lonely quite a lot. I do reach out to friends to spend time together but they are either not available or ignore my message. My family is very busy and have their own lives. I do have a boyfriend and we've been together 7 years but we live separately and he has his own life too when we're apart. I just feel so isolated and like I have no one to talk and at this point I feel like I've got nothing to show for my life now I'm 24. I also work as a carer but I've lost enjoyment out of the job as I don't feel like I'm treated like a carer. I just don't know what to do at this point and I'm scared I'm going to try to kill myself again.
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