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I've been depressed a long time and I'm at my wits end

Posted , 6 users are following.

jennyintokyo
jennyintokyo

Hi Im 24 years old and I have been suffering from depression since I was 18. It first started when I was at university and I felt very low and I found it odd so I went to the doctor and they put me on antidepressants. I didn't stay on them long as I found they made no changes whatsoever. Years passed and I would have little bouts of feeling low, but then last year I was very depressed and the worst I've felt. I tried taking an overdose and I was sent to hospital overnight. They put me forward to the crisis team but I have received no help from them whatsoever.

Next day I came back home and I still felt so low and depressed and anxious and I was scared weeks later. I finally went to the doctors and I told them what had been going on. She knew I had been on antidepressants previously and asked if the crisis team had been in touch. I said no. She then said she would try and get in contact with them but she said they might not do anything with me as "they deal with people a lot worse than you." Which really dented my confidence and I haven't been back since. The doctor give me a number to call to speak to someone but I feel like being on the phone doesn't work. I have tried calling Samaritans in the past but when I've spoke to them I've felt like I'm being spoken to like a child.

I live on my own and I do feel lonely quite a lot. I do reach out to friends to spend time together but they are either not available or ignore my message. My family is very busy and have their own lives. I do have a boyfriend and we've been together 7 years but we live separately and he has his own life too when we're apart. I just feel so isolated and like I have no one to talk and at this point I feel like I've got nothing to show for my life now I'm 24. I also work as a carer but I've lost enjoyment out of the job as I don't feel like I'm treated like a carer. I just don't know what to do at this point and I'm scared I'm going to try to kill myself again.

1 like, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • carmela45627
    carmela45627 jennyintokyo

    Posted

    Please don’t leave us! We will listen to you. Can you get to a hospital as soon as possible? You need to find the right dr. Don’t stop until you get the results that you need. Please get help now! You are suffering from depression. Don’t let it play mind games with you. That is what Is what is happening right now. This is a very dangerous disease. Why you were blown off by medical staff is just so uncaring and not wanting to deal with the problem. I don’t get that at all. We will always be here for you. You can come here anytime you want to talk and vent. It is safe here. Please come back to us. Keep coming while you are searching for the proper care. Please keep us updated at all times. We can guide you. All of us have been there we understand what you are going through
  • Adldiane
    Adldiane jennyintokyo

    Posted

    Hi Jenny. I think it's ridiculous that you are so desperatly needing and wanting help and the people at these places are ignoring you! Gosh I don't know where you live but I sure am glad that I don't live there. 

    Jenny you said your issues first started at university do you know what was so stressful about university that made you so depressed? I think that's a great place to start. Diane

  • ariaariya
    ariaariya jennyintokyo

    Posted

    Hi jenny

    I'm 25 and also suffering from depression for 10 years . I know what its like to feel so alone in this dark pit but you have to know you're not alone and we just gotta keep fighting . All these may sound foolish right now but u just gotta keep fighting . U should find a therapist that works for you . I went through a dozen and just few days ago found one that I felt comfortable with and i felt some kinda hope again . The key is not to give up on this war against this horrible disease i guess . And we shouldnt only depend on the pills and doctors alone the harder part is what we do on our own like learning to take better care of ourselves first and doing stuff that we once enjoyed and really challenge ourselves one step at a time . Depression took everything from me . I spent all my teenage years locked up in my room . Then came university and because I could hardly get out of bed i droped out , now i cant work i dont enjoy the things i used to i basically lay around and do nothing . Everything is a chore and I feel like my dreams and goal have gone so far from me . And I see all these successful peaple around me living their good lives achieving things  and im just so sick of always being sick and tired to do anything and feeling dead inside . This is not what living is ! So I gathered all my strenght and saught help again i know i may fail again but I'm gonna give it all ive got on the road to recovery . Its all about failing and starting over and failing better and not losing this fight .just dont lose hope and seek help again , try all kinds of theraputic stuff untill u find the one that works for u . Sry I rambled on for too long

    Hope this helped a bit ??

  • Solemn
    Solemn jennyintokyo

    Posted

    Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem, many people here know how you are feeling many of us have been diagnosed with depression but you just have to keep on trying, 

    ~Astro~

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 jennyintokyo

    Posted

    Hi Jenny - sorry to read of your situation. I'm sure there are those here who can empathise with your distress over the lack of resources available to people suffering mental health issues, and the abrupt and dismissive way the quietly tormented sufferer can be ignored while attention is spent on the loud and disruptive.

    Would you consider medications again? What might work for me may not work for you, but, like finding good medical support, the process is about trial and error. Alternatives to medications include Lavender Oil, Camomile Tea, St Johns Wort, to name a few. If you are feeling you might slip over the edge, go to the Emergency unit at your local hospital and tell them. I was also wondering if they have any counselling or human resources support at your place of work? 

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