I've been depressed and suffering for intrusive thoughts for weeks
Posted , 3 users are following.
I started my sertraline at 50mg dose and took that for 27 days , felt really low and down scared anxious etc , first it was for relationship OCD as I was getting lots of guilt and and bad thoughts about my relationship even tho i love her to bits and want to be with her then then when my lavish started to go by the 2 week mark I was suffering with intrusive thoughts panicking thinking it was never gonna come back and I would never be attracted to girls again and thought I was going to become a weirdo and I was getting a lot of suicide thoughts , was considering stopping but kept going then around day 22 on sertraline I had 4 better days and thought I was on the up but then went back to square one and went down hill again got really ill again as I was filling out my form for counselling and one of the questions was "do you ever get thoughts of violence to other people " which I never used to then my mind got stuck to it and I panicked got scared and now I can't get it out of my head and I'm scared to be around my love and it's like what ever is in me is trying to pull me away from my love and all the horrible intrusive thoughts are killing me keep thinking I'm gonna become a lunatic and lose my mind , on day 27 I moved dose up to 100mg and I'm on day 4 on 100 mg and feel terrible down and depressed , scared and hopeless , literally don't know if I can cope anymore I know I suffer with obsessive thoughts but evil ones like this scare me to much and make me feel terrible , what do I do ? So scared I need help 😞 Lost hope feels like I can't never be happy again it's tearing my relationship apart I just want to be my old self I've never been violent in my life , sertraline making me easy annoyed to , Someone please reply with your experiences and advice , I just want to run and disappear , one love ??
0 likes, 12 replies
lara54717 Donmate
Posted
I was really scared to be around my partner when I started citalopram (another ssri) because sometimes I was scared he'd hurt me and sometimes that I was scared I would hurt him. We don't have a violent relationship and never have I was just so scared of everything and had really weird senseless thoughts. Was also getting very irritated quickly. The thing is I knew it was side effects and this wasn't really me so you just have to get into that mindset and let it pass. Make sure your partner is aware of what's going on and to give you space when you need it if youre getting angry. It will settle down youre still very early on. Don't be too hard on yourself it's a powerful drug that's messing with your brain.
Donmate lara54717
Posted
Thank you Lara I'm just in bits 😞 Literally want to take my life I can't take much more it just feels like I can't love anymore , I don't know what to do to convince my brain that it's all nonsense , it's making me think I want to become a bad person , how long was you taking it before things started to ease and calm down
lara54717 Donmate
Posted
It was constant and bad for about a week and then after that it I had good days and bad days. I'd say about a month. Talk to your dr and be really honest about everything you're feeling. It might be a good idea to get a prescription for diazepam or something similar just to calm you down when it gets too much. That really helped me through the initial stages. Sometimes just to get a good sleep and it really makes a difference to your mood the next day. Please don't give up. Keep fighting it will get better.
Donmate lara54717
Posted
I got diazepam but don't want to take it but will if I have to like I should now tbh , do you have any side affects off diazepam? X
lara54717 Donmate
Posted
No it just slows everything down stops a panic attack and makes you feel relaxed. First few times you take it you'll probably get the giggles and feel a bit silly but that's all. It's like it's impossible to go into panic on them. They don't like to prescribe it long term because it can become addictive so I only use it when I'm at my lowest. It's also nice just knowing it's there to calm you down if it gets too bad so without even taking it it helps with the anxiety of thinking you're going to loose it. There's no scary side effects like an ssri it's very safe.
Kebem123 Donmate
Posted
Hi Donmate. The level of anxiety you're experiencing will be having a huge impact on your body just now. If your Dr has prescribed Diazepam then take it. It will make you feel a bit "spaced out" but it will help to give your body a rest. I experienced something similar to what you described and I really struggled too. But, you WILL get through this. A few years after my anxiety/depression similar to yours, I read a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". It really helped me put everything I had been thinking into perspective and they are only just thoughts - they're not real. You're not alone, keep taking the Sertraline and seek counselling if you can. I am recently back on Sertraline because I felt a bit overwhelmed with bereavement - I have been meditating every morning and I swear it is helping. I have never been a believer in meditation but I have stuck with it for a few weeks now and along with the meds, is taking me away from my dark place. I hope this helps you - much love ??
Donmate Kebem123
Posted
Thank you for your reply kebem did you suffer with intrusive thoughts like mine ? , how did you cope with your thoughts? What's the best way like what techniques do you use ? Like I'm scared I'm gonna turn into a lunatic and hurt someone 😞 Then I say to myself why am I thinking this I just be bad and stuff also suicide thoughts to , ???
Kebem123 Donmate
Posted
Hi Donmate - yes I suffered intrusive and obsessive thoughts. At first, it was what you describe and associated with my relationship. I had thoughts like "do I love him" which really scared me - of course I did! But why was I thinking this?! I freaked out and had full blown panic attacks. My life at that time was very stressful - my father was very ill and I was young and at university, my mum was stressed and my life line was my boyfriend. He was my rock - so those thoughts made me absolutely terrified. I was ill for a good couple of months - having horrible thoughts of running away and wanting to hide. I saw a psychologist during this episode who put a lot of things into perspective for me. He described my life as a jar, full of marbles (representing big stressful events) and I just kept on taking these stresses on and not dealing with them. Then one day my "jar" was so full, and that one last thought made it shatter and I entered into severe anxiety and depression. It took me months to realise that it was not the thoughts which made me feel this way - it was the building pressures in my life, which I just thought were part of life. I am happy to say that I am now married to my boyfriend, we have been together for 15 years now and that happened when I was a year to 2 years into the relationship. When these thoughts enter your head, tell them to "bring it on"...see what the worst is that can happen. They are only thoughts, they are not real. Look up meditation online. There's evidence to suggest you can change your brain makeup by using these techniques - in that the stress parts of your brain can reduce in size. Regarding th suicidal thoughts, this will not solve anything. You have family and friends to love you. Please ignore those thoughts. If you can get hold of that book I told you about, i am sure it will help. Please let me know if you need anything else ??
Donmate Kebem123
Posted
You are amazing onestly thank you so true in what you say I've had a lot of stress this year and I think it's been a massive build up and then I finally crack ! Really appreciate this thank you ???
Kebem123 Donmate
Posted
I am so pleased that you can relate - you're very welcome and I hope you get through this soon! Just remember what I said 😊 All the best Donmate ??
Donmate Kebem123
Posted
One love kebeb ! Hope you and your partner are well and have a great future ???🙌🏼
Kebem123 Donmate
Posted
Thank you 😊 Same back to you ????